<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The Look in Your Eyes by SilverOpals394</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22745851">The Look in Your Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverOpals394/pseuds/SilverOpals394'>SilverOpals394</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Adam Parrish Has No Chill, Adam Parrish Loves Ronan Lynch, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Complete, Cute Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Ronan Lynch Has Feelings, Ronan Lynch Loves Adam Parrish, adam is a waiter, country club au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 09:22:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>26,556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22745851</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverOpals394/pseuds/SilverOpals394</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Gansey finally manages to convince Ronan to come to dinner with his family at the local country club, Ronan is sure he will hate every minute of it. Until he sees their waiter.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish, background Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>241</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>469</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This fic is based on <a href="https://aronspipe.tumblr.com/post/190793894723/pynch-au-where-adam-is-a-waiter-at-a-country-club">this excellent post</a> that wouldn't leave me alone until I decided to write it out.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Please, Ronan. Just one time."</p><p>Ronan glared at his best friend. "One time is one time too many."</p><p>"Oh, come on. It's not that bad."</p><p>"Yes, it is."</p><p>Ronan had no time for the sort of people who frequented country clubs. Even if Gansey was one of those people, he was the exception. Because Ronan could see that he wasn't <em>really</em> one of those people. He had a knack for that, for seeing things about people that others didn't. So when there was <em>something more</em> about them, he noticed. And he held on. This was probably why he didn't have many friends.</p><p>"Why do you say that?" Gansey asked.</p><p>"Jesus, Gansey. It'll be like having dinner with you and three Declans, surrounded by even more Declans."</p><p>Gansey's jaw dropped open, just a tiny bit, like he couldn't think of a response to that. Good.</p><p>"I... well, I suppose I can see what you mean by that, but they're my parents, and my sister, and they want you to come," Gansey said, giving Ronan a <em>look</em>.</p><p>Jesus. Not a <em>look</em>.</p><p>Ronan groaned. "Fine. One time. Once."</p><p>"You won't regret it," Gansey said happily.</p><p>"I'm sure I will," Ronan answered.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Okay, that's about it, then," Adam said as he finished giving Blue the official tour, "Think you're ready to start?"</p><p>"I have waited tables before, Adam."</p><p>Adam rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know."</p><p>That was how they'd met, after all. They'd both collected odd jobs over the past couple of years and had spent some time working together at a pizza place called Nino's. Blue still worked there a couple nights a week, but Adam had traded it for a job at the trailer factory that paid more.</p><p>But now it was summer, and that meant more free time. And more free time for Adam meant more work time. More time to earn money so he could get out of this town someday and never look back.</p><p>That was how he'd found himself as a waiter once more, though the country club was definitely a different environment than Nino's had been. And the tips were better, usually. There were still, unfortunately, a lot of rich assholes to deal with. But for the most part, it wasn't so bad.</p><p>"Adam," a voice called from the front, "Your family is here."</p><p>"On my way," Adam called back.</p><p>Blue's eyes widened. "What?"</p><p>"Not... not <em>my</em> family," Adam explained, "A family that I always wait on. They even request me, though I'm not sure why. They're a bit... much. But they tip well."</p><p>"Oh," Blue responded, sounding somewhat relieved. She'd never actually met Adam's parents, but he'd told her enough.</p><p>"Well, come on," he said, "You're supposed to shadow me tonight. Might as well get started."</p><p>*****</p><p>Ronan still couldn't believe he'd actually agreed to this. Fucking Gansey and his fucking way of making Ronan do fucking things he didn't want to fucking do. Fuck.</p><p>There, he'd gotten that out of his system, for now at least. He took a deep breath and the hostess led them to a table. The Gansey family made jovial small talk as they took their seats. Ronan tried very hard not to glare.</p><p>And that's when it happened, when Ronan knew that he was fucked. Because the kitchen door swung open and a boy their age walked out and Ronan <em>noticed</em>. He was, to put it simply, the most beautiful boy he had ever seen. And he had the most beautiful blue eyes and <em>God, look at those hands</em>, and he was walking straight towards their table.</p><p>He. Was. Fucked.</p><p>*****</p><p>As Adam made his way into the dining room, Blue trailing behind him, he nearly stopped in his tracks. Nearly. He kept his composure, thankfully. Because there, at the Gansey family table, was a newcomer. And he was the hottest guy Adam had ever seen. Adam felt a strange and overwhelming urgency to impress him. Probably because the guy made it look like that was an impossible task. Everything about him said <em>danger</em>. It said <em>back the fuck off</em>. It said <em>you have been warned</em>.</p><p>Well. Adam was certainly not one to back down from a challenge.</p><p>He got to their table, and as usual, he cordially made small talk with the Ganseys. He felt the newcomer's icy eyes on him. When he looked up, though, they had been pointedly directed elsewhere. But as soon as Adam's gaze left his to jot down everyone's drink orders, he felt those eyes on him once more.</p><p>And when Mr. Gansey said something mildly offensive, those icy eyes finally met his and they shared a <em>look</em>.</p><p>He was so fucked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam was clocking in for the evening, certainly not thinking about the fact that it had been over a week and the Gansey family had not returned. Not thinking about how that was unusual, how they normally came in a couple times a week. About how the fact that he cared so much had nothing to do with their generous tips. Not at all.</p><p>"Adam!" Blue called out cheerily. She'd worked a mid shift and was getting ready to leave for the day. "You were right, the tips here are way better than Nino's," she said smiling, fanning some cash in his face.</p><p>"Yeah," he said absentmindedly. He remembered a smile just a beat too late.</p><p>"You okay?"</p><p>He made himself flash her a small grin. He was being ridiculous. "Yeah, I'm okay."</p><p>"Okay," she said, eyeing him warily, "Well, I'm headed out. Don't forget to come over on Sunday. Persephone's making pie."</p><p>"I remember," he said, still smiling, "I'll be there."</p><p>"Hey," she said, peering into the dining room, "Your family's here."</p><p>His head snapped up maybe just a bit too quickly.</p><p>"Oh, okay. Thanks," he said, swallowing.</p><p>This was absurd. He didn't even know the guy's name. Or if he was even into guys. He'd only recently understood and accepted that about himself, and Blue was the only one he'd told. And now here he was jumping the gun with the first guy who'd given him a second look. He was in over his head.</p><p>Because even if he <em>was</em> into guys, he didn't know if he would even be interested in <em>him</em>. Even if it felt like those things were true. Adam had never been one to rely on feelings alone. He needed information. He needed facts.</p><p>And the facts he had were this: a guy had come along with the Gansey family one time. He was gorgeous, but also intimidating, and may not want anything to do with a lowly waiter he'd never even had a conversation with. There was no reason for Adam to believe he'd be back. He could live halfway across the country for all Adam knew. Adam might not ever see him again.</p><p>So when he made his way out to the dining room, and saw that the guy was indeed not there, he told himself not to feel disappointed. He failed.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Hey man," Ronan said as Gansey walked through the door wheeling a suitcase behind him, "Thought you'd be back earlier."</p><p>"Oh, well, we decided to stop for dinner when we got back into town."</p><p>"At the country club?" Ronan asked, voice pathetically strained.</p><p>"Where else?" he said, popping a mint leaf into his mouth, "It really is a fine establishment, you know."</p><p>Ronan tried to think of how to answer that without commenting on just how fine he had found the wait staff.</p><p>"Don't worry," Gansey said, not waiting for a reply, "You fulfilled your promise, I won't make you go back."</p><p>"Yeah," was all Ronan could think to say. <em>Fuck</em>. He sighed. "It wasn't... so bad."</p><p>Gansey's eyebrows couldn't possibly rise higher onto his forehead.</p><p>"They had good... steak." Christ, he sounded like a loser.</p><p>"Good... steak."</p><p>"I'm just saying... I might be in the mood for steak again some time."</p><p>Gansey narrowed his eyes. "Are you feeling well, Ronan?"</p><p>No. No, he most certainly was not.</p><p>*****</p><p>"Thank you for joining us this evening. My name is Blue and I'll be your waitress tonight. Can I get you started on some drinks?"</p><p>"Blue, you say? What an unusual name," said Mrs. Gansey.</p><p>"Where's, oh, what's his name? Aaron?" Mr. Gansey added.</p><p>Blue plastered a wide smile on her face. "Oh, I think you mean Adam."</p><p>"Adam! Yes, that's it. Such a charming young man."</p><p>"He's busy at the moment, but I'm sure I can help you out with whatever you'll need tonight."</p><p>Adam was "busy" avoiding the Ganseys, though he hadn't mentioned why. He'd seemed to be in a pissy mood when he'd seen the married couple and their daughter come in, sans their son and his friend.</p><p>Blue took their drink orders and headed back into the kitchen. She found Adam getting drinks for another table he'd taken so she waited her turn.</p><p>"You gonna tell me what's up?" she asked.</p><p>"Nothing's up. Just needed a break," he answered lightly.</p><p>"Are you sure? Did something happen?"</p><p>Adam sighed. "I don't know. Maybe. But I don't want to talk about it, okay? Not right now."</p><p>She nodded. "Okay. If you change your mind, let me know."</p><p>"I will," he said as he backed out of the kitchen with his tray full of drinks.</p><p>She frowned. Something was definitely up. And as much as she wanted to know what that was, she knew she wouldn't push him. Pushing Adam when he wasn't ready never ended well. She'd learned that awhile ago.</p><p>When they'd first met, they'd both been a little awkward and shy around each other, and had attempted dating. That had not gone well, but somehow they'd survived it and had found that they worked really well as friends. Best friends. She hated when he kept things from her, but she also wanted to respect his privacy.</p><p>So she got the Ganseys' drinks ready and plastered that smile back onto her face. She really could use a nice tip.</p><p>*****</p><p>Adam was walking quickly, carrying the tray of drinks to its table. The people at said table had been very unhappy with the last round and had demanded he go back and bring new ones out. His mood had already been dark, and now his patience was running thin. But he threw on his best apologetic smile as he made his way over to them.</p><p>"Sorry we're late," a voice said nearby. Shit. He knew that voice. It belonged to none other than Richard "Dick" Gansey. And he had said <em>we</em>.</p><p>Adam allowed himself to look up then, telling himself it could be nothing.</p><p>It was not nothing. It was him.</p><p>Jesus. There he was, looking like a god incarnate. Adam felt his heart start to beat faster. He kept walking, but his eyes stayed glued to the guy he couldn't seem to stop thinking about. Couldn't seem to stop staring at.</p><p>The guy looked up then, and their eyes met for the second time. And everything seemed to slow down around him. All he could see was the way those blue eyes bore into his. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears.</p><p>And then the guy <em>smirked</em>, the bastard. Adam actually felt as his heart skipped a beat. <em>Jesus Christ</em>. He must know what he was doing to Adam. There was no way he didn't, not with the way he—</p><p>Everything came rushing back at once. There was a loud crashing of glass, followed by a loud cry of disdain. Hot guy's eyes widened, almost comically, filled with alarm and a hint of amusement. That <em>asshole</em>. Because Adam had been too busy staring at him to see that he had arrived at his destination. And that he had dropped the entire tray of drinks all over his already unhappy customer.</p><p>Hot guy let out a gleeful laugh like he'd just won the lottery. Adam wanted to hate that sound, that infuriatingly beautiful sound. He did not. He very much did not.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan was lounging on his bed, headphones draped around his neck. He'd planned on staying in for the evening, maybe drinking a beer or six, listening to something loud enough to drown out his own thoughts (a regular part of his daily routine) but he never actually made it that far. His thoughts were too distracting, and he found that he wasn't actually in the mood to evict them just yet. </p>
<p>They were all about that waiter, of course. Stupidly, he'd never thought to get his name. Gansey probably knew. He wouldn't ask, though. He wasn't sure this was a secret he was ready to share. </p>
<p>If there was even anything <em>to </em>share. There certainly was from his side of things, but that wasn't enough. He needed more evidence that this wasn't completely one-sided. </p>
<p>But God, he couldn't stop thinking about him. It had been almost two weeks and he still saw those eyes whenever he closed his own. And it wasn't just their beauty. It was the way they'd automatically searched out Ronan's when Dick II had made that stupid comment. The way they mirrored his own, a thousand words worth of conversation in one long gaze. </p>
<p>But it <em>was</em> also their beauty. <em>His</em> beauty. Ronan didn't quite understand it. He'd always known he was gay, or rather, that he had no interest in girls. It was only more recently that he'd fully recognized that he most certainly <em>did</em> have interest in guys. But there had never been a guy he'd actually imagined being with. </p>
<p>That had definitely changed. Ronan didn't give most people the time of day. What exactly was it about this guy to capture Ronan's interest so thoroughly? All without ever actually talking to him? Not that Ronan was a known conversationalist.</p>
<p>He thought again of that look they'd shared. That look that said way more than if they'd actually spoken. </p>
<p>So yes, he concluded, it was mostly about that look, about the way that look had made him feel like he'd known this guy forever, that they'd shared thousands of looks like that. But Ronan's attention had been caught way before their eyes ever met. There was just <em>something</em> about him. And that something was written all over his features. It danced in the unruly waves of his dusty hair. It settled neatly into his deep set eyes and pronounced cheekbones. Everything about him was a contradiction and Ronan felt like he could look at him for hours and it wouldn't be enough.</p>
<p>He was just so goddamned <em>beautiful</em>. There wasn't a better word for it. </p>
<p>A knock at his open bedroom door startled him from his musing. </p>
<p>“<em>What</em>?” he snarled.</p>
<p>Gansey was unfazed. He said, “You in the mood for steak tonight?”</p>
<p>Ronan's heart began to pound, but he gave him a look of practiced indifference. “Sure, man. Whatever.”</p>
<p>Gansey eyed him suspiciously. Honestly, he wasn't really sure why he didn't just tell Gansey the whole truth. It wasn't like he didn't know Ronan was gay. But somehow this felt fragile, like if he told anyone about it, it would disappear. As long as he was the only one who knew about it, he could pretend it was real. Pretend that the beautiful boy with a voice like honey was looking at Ronan the way Ronan was looking at him. </p>
<p>They headed to the restaurant in the Pig, planning on meeting the rest of the Ganseys there. So of course the piece of shit would break down. They weren’t too far from the country club, thankfully, so they pushed the car off the road and started to walk the rest of the way while Gansey called for a mechanic. </p>
<p>“No, no, that’s fine. We’re going to be having dinner at the club, so there’s no need to rush. Okay. Thank you,” Gansey said into the phone. He turned to Ronan. “The mechanic is a bit backed up so we may have to wait for a tow,” he explained.</p>
<p>Ronan just shrugged. He certainly wouldn't mind if they had to spend time at the country club waiting for a tow truck. He wouldn't mind at all, not if the cute waiter was there. Jesus, he had it bad. He felt like he should probably be embarrassed by that, but he wasn't. He'd already fought his demons and now he was letting himself have this. He should probably tell Gansey. Only if something concrete happened, though. He still wasn’t sure it wasn’t all in his head.</p>
<p>Ronan stayed silent for the rest of the short walk to the country club, thoughts of the beautiful waiter still overtaking his mind. </p>
<p>By the time they made it to the restaurant, the Gansey family had already been seated.</p>
<p>“Sorry we’re late,” Gansey said. </p>
<p>Ronan saw him then, walking by with a tray of drinks. He wasn’t looking, hadn’t noticed Ronan. He made himself look away. This was fine. Really, it was. </p>
<p>Except no, it wasn't, and Ronan gave in and looked up at him again. </p>
<p>And oh God. Oh Christ. He was looking. He was <em>really</em> looking, his eyes focused on Ronan even as he continued to walk away. It was like he couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere else. Ronan knew that feeling. God, did he know that feeling. </p>
<p>He couldn’t help it, then. He didn’t tell his facial muscles what to do, they did it all on their own. </p>
<p>The tray of drinks went flying as the cute as fuck waiter (Ronan really needed to find out what his name was) walked straight into an angry looking balding man. Holy fuck. He’d done that. Caused that type of reaction. And all with just a smirk. </p>
<p>He let out a victorious laugh. This was the best day of Ronan’s life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This was the worst day of Adam's life.</p>
<p>Okay, that really wasn't true. But right now, standing in the kitchen with his tail between his legs while his boss tried to smooth things over, it certainly felt like it. He wasn't like this. He was so careful, so courteous to demanding customers. Even if he sometimes hated it and felt an urge to spit in their food, he never gave anything less than his best. He needed this job. What had he been thinking?</p>
<p>Well, that was the problem, wasn't it? He <em>hadn't </em>been thinking, not logically anyway. He had been... distracted. He couldn't let that happen again. <em>Pull yourself together, Adam.</em></p>
<p>He peeked out into the dining room. Blue had delivered the Ganseys' drinks and was now taking their orders. Hot guy was a picture of satisfaction, leaning far back in his chair with his hands behind his head. A wide grin overtook his face. Adam did not like that grin, or the way it made his eyes crinkle on the edges, just a bit. The way it made him look... softer, somehow, more approachable. Like he was someone Adam could talk to, someone who could make him smile. <em>Stop it, Adam. If you haven't already been fired you certainly will be if you keep this up.</em></p>
<p>But despite his protestations, that grin made Adam's insides feel all... fuzzy.  </p>
<p>He gritted his teeth. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Blue half-listened to her boss, Monica, attempt to calm the angry man as she took the Ganseys' orders. She was at a loss. Adam <em>never</em> did anything like that, most definitely not on purpose. He must have tripped, or... something. She hadn’t seen it happen, just the aftermath.</p>
<p>As she was jotting things down, the Gansey son's phone began to ring and he answered it, holding up a finger at her and giving her a presidential smile. She felt the urge to break that finger off, but kept her composure.</p>
<p>She moved on to his friend, who was smiling like he'd just received the most wonderful news, or had been vindicated somehow. She studied him as he ordered a steak, and saw his eyes flick towards the kitchen. Her eyes followed. Adam was peeking out the window on the kitchen door, and when he saw them looking, he ducked his head quickly and disappeared.</p>
<p>
  <em>Interesting. </em>
</p>
<p>Finally, President Cell Phone was done with his call and he ordered the special. Making her way back to the kitchen, debating whether or not to confront Adam about all this, she heard Monica come up behind her. As they ventured far enough away from potentially eavesdropping diners, Blue said, “Please don’t fire him.”</p>
<p>Monica stopped walking and reached for Blue’s arm. “Don’t worry, I’m not firing anyone,” she said quietly.</p>
<p>Blue let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what happened, but I’m sure it was an accident. Adam is the most hard-working, in-control person that I know. This was a fluke.”</p>
<p>“I agree,” Monica said reassuringly, “You don’t have to come to his defense. He’s proven himself to be an excellent employee. But it <em>cannot </em>happen again. With him, or you, or anyone, okay? I was able to handle it this time, but we have a reputation to uphold. If something like this happens again, I won’t be able to keep <em>my </em>boss from finding out, and we don’t want that.”</p>
<p>Blue nodded and they walked back into the kitchen. Monica pulled Adam into her office and Blue waved at him with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. He looked like he was sweating bullets.</p>
<p>A little while later when he came back out, he looked a lot better. So Blue felt like she could sensibly tease him and get away with it. He’d said he didn’t want to talk about it, but now, with what she suspected, he’d never say anything unless she brought it up first. She grinned wickedly.</p>
<p>“So,” she said quietly so that only he could hear, “<em>Someone </em>has a crush, huh?”</p>
<p>Adam’s cheeks immediately flushed red and the tips of his ears turned pink. “I do not,” he insisted.</p>
<p>“Uh huh. I totally believe you,” she answered, grin widening.</p>
<p>Adam’s mouth twitched like he wanted to say something, but he remained silent.</p>
<p>“You forget,” Blue said, “I know exactly what it means when you’re all cute and flustered like this. I <em>have</em> experienced it firsthand.”</p>
<p>Finally, he gave in and the tiniest of grins appeared on his face. “Oh, shut up,” he said, giving her shoulder a gentle shove.</p>
<p>“For what it’s worth,” she whispered, “I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.”</p>
<p>“You think so?” he whispered back.</p>
<p>“The dude looks like he just won the lottery or something, so yeah, I’d say it’s pretty safe to assume.”</p>
<p>“He could just be amused that I’m clumsy, or something,” he said, frowning.</p>
<p>Shaking her head, she said, “<em>That</em> amused? I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“I don’t even know his name.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Blue said, “Then you should find out what it is. Want me to? Since I have their table tonight?”</p>
<p>He grinned again in that tiny but noticeable way. “Yeah, okay.”</p>
<p>“Your wish is my command,” she said dramatically, bowing to him as she left his side to pick up the Ganseys’ food and take it to their table. She was going to have so much fun with this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blue was walking through the kitchen when she found Adam again. He was standing at the door, looking out through the little window like he had been earlier. No need to guess what—or who, rather—he was looking at. </p><p>“You know,” she said, coming up behind him, “if you think you're being subtle, you're wrong.”</p><p>“Jesus, Blue,” he muttered under his breath. “Don't sneak up on me like that.”</p><p>“I did no such thing,” Blue insisted, chuckling, “You're just incapable of noticing anything that isn't six feet of snarky muscle.”</p><p>He flipped her off, which only made her laugh harder. </p><p>“You should probably be nicer to me,” she added. “Since I went out of my way to get his name for you and all.”</p><p>He rolled his eyes at her, but she noticed his cheeks redden just a bit. Oh, she <em> loved </em> this. </p><p>A moment passed in silence. Adam's gaze returned to the Ganseys. To <em> Ronan</em>, as she'd found out. She thought the name suited him, from what she could tell. She hadn't really paid attention to him the last time he'd been here. That was her first night, after all, and she'd been more focused on learning the ins and outs of her job. Apparently so focused that she'd missed the intense staring going on between these two. </p><p>She peeked out the window next to Adam. Yep, the staring was still mutual. </p><p>“All right, it's almost time for me to get off and I have to go because Mom needs me for that reading tonight. You just keep staring and maybe you'll learn his name telepathically if you try hard enough,” she said, patting his arm and turning away.</p><p>“Wait,” he said, tearing his gaze away from the dining room. Then he turned and looked back one more time like he was apologizing for the fact that all the eye contact had to come to an unfortunate and premature end.</p><p>Jesus, he had it bad.</p><p>He just looked at her, waiting for her to say something. But this was too fun to let him off the hook so easily.</p><p>He sighed. “What…” he began, “did you…”</p><p>“Use your words, Adam,” she sniggered.</p><p>“What's his name?” he asked, going for casual. But he was pointedly looking at the floor, and his arms were crossed self-consciously.</p><p>“His name is <em> Ronan</em>,” she said slowly, watching the way Adam took in her words. His eyes got this warm glowy look. It was kind of disgusting, to be honest.</p><p>“It suits him,” they said at the same time, and then Blue was laughing again.</p><p>“I heard his friend, President Cell Phone, talking to him. That's how I found out. So really, it wasn't any work.”</p><p>“Wait, <em> what </em>did you just call him?” Adam said, joining in her laughter.</p><p>“President Cell Phone. Ugh, he's... just. Like, the worst. He held a finger up at me so he could take a phone call while I was trying to take his order, Adam.”</p><p>“I told you they were all a bit much,” he said.</p><p>“That kind of seems like an understatement now. I think the name I've given him fits well.”</p><p>“His family calls him 'Dick', you know,” Adam added, grinning.</p><p>She let out a howl. “I changed my mind. His real name says it all.”</p><p>“I don't know, he's not <em> too </em> bad. Just sort of…” he trailed off.</p><p>“Oblivious? Steeped in privilege?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Adam agreed.</p><p>“Your boyfriend seems different, though.”</p><p>At the word <em> boyfriend </em> Adam's cheeks turned an impossibly deeper shade of red.</p><p>“Oh my <em> God</em>,” he said, “<em>Don't </em> <em>call him that</em>.”</p><p>“Why not? Don't you loooooove him?”</p><p>“I will kill you in your sleep,” Adam said, glaring.</p><p>“Sure,” she said, patting him on the cheek.</p><p>*****</p><p>His name was <em> Ronan</em>. Adam wasn't sure what to do with this information, other than to say it to himself over and over again.</p><p>
  <em> Ronan. Ronan. Ronan.</em>
</p><p>After Blue had left, he'd taken another table and was able to steal a few more glances from across the room without completely losing his focus. He was getting better at this. He could control himself. He was fine. Completely. Really. </p><p>But the Gansey family had left, and for some reason, Ronan and 'Dick' had stayed behind. He <em> really </em> didn't know what to do with this information.</p><p>The restaurant was winding down for the night, and he was still waiting on the food for his last table. So when he noticed Ronan was alone, his friend off taking another phone call, he decided to be brave.</p><p>“Hey,” he said casually.</p><p>Ronan looked up at him, eyes widening. “Hey,” he coughed out, less casually.</p><p>“You gonna stay here all night?” Adam asked, sending him a small grin.</p><p>Ronan returned the grin. Adam felt his stomach swoop violently.</p><p>“Gansey's on the phone with a mechanic,” he said, jerking his thumb in his friend's direction. “His car broke down on the way here. It's kind of a piece of shit.”</p><p>This surprised Adam. He couldn't picture him—Gansey, it seemed—driving anything that could be described as such.</p><p>Ronan seemed to read his mind. “I mean, it's a great car, a classic. But also a piece of shit.”</p><p>Adam laughed, which just seemed to make Ronan's smile grow, and in turn, made Adam decide he could be even braver.</p><p>“I get off in an hour,” he said, watching Ronan's eyes widen once more. “If you're still stuck by then I could take a look at it for you.”</p><p>“You know cars?” Ronan asked. He seemed... almost… impressed? Adam felt a shot of pride run through him. That was what he'd been trying to do, wasn't it?</p><p>He grinned again. “Yeah, I know cars. I'm not just a waiter. I’m also a mechanic.” And a factory worker, not that he needed to know that at the moment.</p><p>Ronan sucked in a sharp breath. Okay, he was <em> definitely </em> impressed.</p><p>Adam looked at the time. The food was probably about ready, so he should go. He'd thought that he would have wanted to resist, to stay and talk to Ronan some more, but he kind of liked this feeling. Like there would be plenty of time for it in the future. Like he'd captured Ronan's interest one-hundred percent, and he wouldn't be disappearing anytime soon. </p><p>With a confidence he didn't even know he had in him, he said, “I've got to go finish up. I guess I'll see you in an hour if you're still needing me then.” And then he walked away, a strut in his step, and Ronan's eyes on him the entire time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ronan watched as the waiter who had completely taken over his... well, <em> everything</em>, walked away. His hips were swinging in a confident—and to Ronan, mind-blowingly <em> hot</em>—manner, and Ronan had to say a few Hail Marys and compose himself. His parting words were playing on a loop in Ronan’s mind. <em> If you’re still needing me then. </em> As if Ronan could fathom ever <em> not </em>needing him. </p>
<p>As soon as he was out of sight, Ronan launched himself towards Gansey. He had to make sure they'd still be stuck on the side of the road in an hour. He'd never in his life been so thankful that Gansey drove such a ridiculous car. </p>
<p>“I understand,” Gansey was saying into the phone, “Yes. Well, I don't see what else to do in this situation.”</p>
<p>Ronan put a hand on his shoulder but Gansey just gave him an apologetic smile, still listening to the voice coming through his phone. </p>
<p>“We'll wait,” he said, looking at Ronan before hanging up. “I'm afraid it will still be awhile,” Gansey said, rubbing a hand over his face. </p>
<p>“It's cool,” Ronan said, unable to hide his smile. </p>
<p>“Is everything okay with you?” Gansey asked, the beginnings of a frown shaping his mouth. “You've been acting strange all evening.”</p>
<p>Ronan didn't answer. Was it real? Was it worth telling Gansey about? It certainly felt like it, even if the thought of saying it out loud made his heart squeeze in his chest.</p>
<p>He considered it for a moment more. “You know that waiter?” he asked finally. </p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“You know, the young one.” The <em> hot </em>one. </p>
<p>“Do you mean Adam?” Gansey asked. </p>
<p><em> Adam</em>. It suited him. </p>
<p>“Uh, yeah. I think so. He...”</p>
<p>
  <em> He what? He looked at me? We made eye contact all evening? He finally talked to me and I turned into a complete idiot when he told me he's a mechanic? Speaking of... </em>
</p>
<p>“He's a mechanic. He said he could look at the Pig for you when he gets off.” <em> Actually, he said he could look at it for </em> me<em>. You should know this distinction is important.  </em></p>
<p>“Oh, that's very kind of him. But that still doesn't tell me what's going on with you,” Gansey said. Clearly, he wasn’t going to be distracted from whatever he thought was troubling Ronan. </p>
<p>Well, shit. </p>
<p>And then the waiter—<em>Adam</em>, Ronan reminded himself—came back out of the kitchen with a tray of food for the last table of the night and Ronan lost all ability to think. He just watched him, the muscles in his shoulders doing <em> things </em> to Ronan as he carried the tray, a ghost of a smile on his face. Oh, he knew. He knew exactly what he was doing to Ronan. He—</p>
<p>A low chuckle brought him back to reality. Gansey was looking at him with amusement. </p>
<p>“Everything is making sense now,” Gansey said, following Ronan’s eyes to Adam’s retreating form, “You <em> like </em>him, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t even know him,” Ronan insisted. It wasn’t a lie. Just because he <em> wanted</em>—</p>
<p>“Oh, but you’d like to,” Gansey replied, still chuckling, “I knew you couldn’t possibly like the steak here that much.”</p>
<p>“Fuck off,” Ronan said with just a tiny bit of heat.</p>
<p>“No,” Gansey said simply, “I don’t think I will.”</p>
<p>Ronan groaned. </p>
<p>“Oh, come on, Ronan,” he continued, “You can talk to me. You know that.”</p>
<p>“I know, I know,” Ronan sighed, irritated. “Okay, you’re right. I… I like him.”</p>
<p>And suddenly, he felt like a weight had been lifted off of him. Huh. Maybe there <em> was </em> something to this whole talking-about-your-feelings thing. Ronan grimaced.</p>
<p>“Are you going to do anything about it?” Gansey asked softly, leaving his amused and mocking tone behind like he wanted Ronan to know he was taking this seriously. Like he thought it was important, and wanted Ronan to know he supported him. </p>
<p>He knew Gansey was his best friend for a reason.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Ronan admitted. He really had no clue how to proceed. It wasn’t like he had any kind of experience with this sort of thing. “You’ve dated before. What do you think I should do?”</p>
<p>“Being set up by my parents does <em> not </em>count,” Gansey said. “You’ve seen how well that’s gone for me.”</p>
<p>That was true. The highlight of those “dates” were what came after: listening to Gansey lament about them over orange juice and vodka at two in the morning.</p>
<p>“I’ve never felt a... <em> connection </em>with anyone on a date before,” Gansey mused, “I think that makes all the difference.”</p>
<p>Ronan felt his eyes glance back towards the kitchen automatically.</p>
<p>“Clearly, you’ve already got that part down,” Gansey continued, “Do you think he feels the same?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, man,” Ronan answered. “I mean, yeah, I do, but I also feel like I could be really wrong about this whole thing.” Even with the mounting pile of evidence that this was <em> not </em>one-sided, he still didn’t trust that he wasn’t making things seem like more than they were.</p>
<p>Gansey frowned. “I wish I could offer you better advice.”</p>
<p>“You’re doing better than you think,” Ronan said, jostling his shoulder.</p>
<p>Gansey’s frown disappeared. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>Adam came back out to the dining room again and started walking towards them. Ronan’s heart surged once more. Would he ever have any other kind of reaction? He hoped not. </p>
<p>“Hey, so we’re getting ready to close for the night,” he began, “I’m sorry, but my boss has asked me to ask you to leave.”</p>
<p>His eyes were still trained on Ronan, and his mouth was turned down at the corners like he’d just delivered the worst news possible. Ronan was inclined to agree with him.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s completely understandable,” Gansey said.</p>
<p>Ronan and Adam jumped slightly like they’d both forgotten he was there. Neither said anything.</p>
<p>“Ronan told me about your offer,” Gansey continued, “That was very kind of you. I’m afraid I may have to take you up on it.”</p>
<p>A small smile appeared on Adam’s beautiful face. Ronan wanted it to stay there forever.</p>
<p>“No problem,” he said, finally tearing his gaze away from Ronan to speak to Gansey directly. “Where’s the car? I’ll meet you there when I get off.”</p>
<p>“Just down the road. You can’t miss it.”</p>
<p>“You really can’t,” Ronan added, “It’s a big orange hunk of junk.”</p>
<p>Adam laughed, and Ronan felt it <em> everywhere.  </em></p>
<p>“See you soon, then, <em> Ronan</em>,” he said, grinning, before he turned away again.</p>
<p>Gansey pulled Ronan towards the door. “Oh, he <em> definitely </em> feels the same,” he said, laughing quietly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“See you soon, then, <em>Ronan</em>,” Adam said before quickly walking away.</p><p><em>Oh God, oh God, oh God.</em> </p><p>Did he really just say that? Like <em>that?</em> Completely ignoring the actual owner of the car he was supposed to look at? Jesus, could he be any more <em>obvious?</em></p><p>The newfound confidence he'd had just a little while ago had grown wings and flown out the damn window, leaving him behind. He took a few deep breaths. He could do this. He could go and fix <em>Gansey's</em> car, or try at least, without losing his goddamn mind. </p><p>He closed his eyes for a moment, and when he did, he was met with the memory of Ronan's eyes. They had been focused on Adam all evening. There was no disputing that. And when his eyes had met Adam's, it felt... <em>right. </em>It felt like a conversation without words. It felt like he'd never want to look anywhere else. </p><p>Jesus Christ, he was in deep. There was no going back from this. Not that he <em>wanted </em>to. He wanted a lot of things, but going back was not one of them. </p><p>Going <em>forward</em>,however, he certainly had interest in. Even if he wasn't sure what that meant, exactly. Where did you go from prolonged eye contact?</p><p>Well, he'd find out soon enough, he supposed. </p><p>*****</p><p>Ronan was impatient. He'd checked the time repeatedly, hardly believing that barely a few minutes had passed in between. He didn't think he'd looked at his phone so much in... well, ever. </p><p>Gansey was quiet. He could probably tell that Ronan wasn't really in the mood for conversation at the moment. His heart and mind were still reeling over the fact that someone else—Gansey, in this case, who Ronan trusted more than anyone—had confirmed that he had not been making all of this up. <em>Adam was looking back at him. Adam was interested.</em></p><p>Ronan looked at Gansey. He thought about asking him to expand on his observation of Adam's feelings, but he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts. </p><p>Finally, <em>finally</em>, he heard the sound of someone approaching, and turned to see Adam coming around the corner on an old bicycle. He'd changed out of his uniform, and was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The clothes were a little small on him, but in the <em>best </em>way. </p><p>“Hey,” he said as he propped up the bike on its kickstand and took off his backpack. </p><p>“Hello!” Gansey said, just a bit too enthusiastically. </p><p>Ronan scowled at him. <em>Be cool, you idiot, </em>he said with his eyes. </p><p><em>Sorry, </em>said Gansey's glance back. </p><p>“It's Adam, right?” Gansey asked. </p><p>“Uh, yeah,” Adam replied. “Adam Parrish.” </p><p>Gansey reached to shake his hand. “I'm Richard Gansey, but please just call me Gansey, and this is Ronan Lynch.”</p><p>Adam's eyes flicked to his. They shared another moment of prolonged eye contact. They probably would have just kept staring like idiots if Gansey didn't intervene. </p><p>“Thank you for offering to take a look at the Pig,” he said cordially. </p><p>“The Pig?” Adam said with a small laugh, though he didn't wait for an answer. “What's the problem with it exactly?”</p><p>Ronan zoned out of the conversation and just watched Adam as he went to work. Fuck, it was hot the way he bent over the engine, his magical hands doing things Ronan couldn't even begin to understand. He'd never really cared about the inner workings of a car before as long as it ran and ran <em>fast. </em>But now he thought he might be interested. Well, if Adam was the one to teach him, anyway. </p><p>Adam's eyes kept glancing over at him. Ronan tried his best not to look like a lovesick loser, but was pretty sure he was unsuccessful.  </p><p>*****</p><p>As Adam worked on the car he felt the undeniable feeling of Ronan's eyes on him. He stole a few glances while Gansey prattled on about... something. Adam wasn't really paying attention. </p><p>And once again, because he was too busy focusing on the way Ronan was looking at him, he lost all control and his hand slipped and he nearly fell head first into the car. </p><p>And once again, Ronan was <em>delighted. </em></p><p>He barked out a laugh. “Careful there, Parrish. This isn't your mother's 1971 Honda Civic.”</p><p>He straightened himself and without missing a beat looked Ronan dead in the eye as he said, “They didn't start making the Civic until '73, <em>Lynch</em>.”</p><p>And Ronan <em>blushed. Ronan Lynch was blushing because of him. </em></p><p>He grinned. <em>Oh hello there, confidence. Nice to have you back. </em></p><p>Slowly, so <em>slowly, </em>a grin took root on Ronan's face and Adam turned back to the car. It was easy to look away again. He knew Ronan was still looking. </p><p>He finished up and lowered the hood, wiping his hand on a towel he'd taken from the kitchen. </p><p>“That'll get you home but you'll need to take it to a shop soon,” he said to Gansey. </p><p>“Thank you again,” Gansey answered. “Would you like us to give you a ride home? You could put your bike in the trunk.”</p><p>Adam's eyes moved back to Ronan. “All right,” he said, eyes locked on Ronan's. “Thanks.” </p><p>“Oh, it's the least I could do,” Gansey said quietly, a hint of amusement in his voice. </p><p>*****</p><p>“It's right up here,” Adam said, pointing in the direction of St. Agnes. </p><p>As they pulled into the lot, Ronan turned from his position in the passenger seat to look at him. </p><p>“You live <em>here</em>?” he asked incredulously. </p><p>Great. He'd known Ronan must be some sort of rich to be having dinner at the country club—with the Ganseys, no less—but he'd really been hoping he wasn't a snob. </p><p>“Yes, I live <em>here</em>,” he answered somewhat defensively. </p><p>It wasn't much, but the small apartment above the church had saved his life. Probably literally. He'd seen a flyer for the room one day and after figuring out if he could afford it, had told his parents he was leaving. They hadn't taken it well, exactly, but that was the last time Robert Parrish had laid a hand on him. And life had improved greatly since then. So yes, he was proud of his little one room apartment, and anyone with anything to say about it had another thing coming. Even if it was the boy he was so infatuated with. </p><p>Ronan seemed to pick up on his mood. His face softened. </p><p>“I just mean... I go to Mass here, every Sunday. How have I never seen you before?” </p><p>
  <em>Oh. </em>
</p><p>Adam’s hackles lowered. “Oh, um, I’m not usually around on Sundays. I work early and then I usually go to Blue’s afterwards.”</p><p>“Blue?” Gansey asked, “You mean the waitress?”</p><p>“Yeah. She’s my best friend.”</p><p>Now it was Gansey’s turn to look delighted. What was <em>that</em> about?</p><p>Adam scooted closer to the passenger door to get out. If that meant scooting closer to Ronan, well, that was just a bonus.</p><p>“Wait,” Gansey said, “Before you go, I’d like to repay you somehow.”</p><p>“You already gave me a ride home,” Adam protested, “You don’t need to—”</p><p>“Ronan and I are going out for pizza tomorrow night,” Gansey said, interrupting him, “Will you join us?”</p><p>Adam considered. On the one hand, he didn’t want Gansey “paying” him, even if it was just pizza. But on the other hand, he really wanted to see Ronan again, especially outside of the country club. And he <em>was</em> free the following evening.</p><p>He looked at Ronan again. His eyes were pleading. It was obvious he really wanted Adam to come with, and who was Adam to say no to that?</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” he said finally, swallowing.</p><p>“Excellent!” Gansey said smiling. He reached to shake Adam’s hand again. Ronan rolled his eyes, and Adam stifled a laugh. “We’ll pick you up around seven, does that work?”</p><p>“Yeah, that works. See you guys tomorrow, then.”</p><p>Ronan didn’t say anything as he moved to let Adam out, but their hands brushed and Adam’s pulse quickened. By the look on Ronan’s face, Adam could tell his did, too. He smirked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam paced back and forth across his small apartment floor. It was nearly time for Gansey and Ronan to pick him up, and he was inexplicably nervous. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t so inexplicable. But it wasn’t like this was a date. It <em> wasn’t</em>. Still, he’d changed his shirt three times already and was contemplating a fourth when he heard the unmistakable roar of the Pig pulling into the parking lot. He took a deep breath, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. </p>
<p>Ronan got out of the car to let him into the back. “Hey,” he said. </p>
<p>Adam could tell he was trying his best to look indifferent, but he thought if he could feel Ronan’s pulse right now it would be racing as fast as his was. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Adam answered. </p>
<p>They stood outside the car for a few seconds, just looking at each other. Ronan was wearing ripped jeans and a black tank, and he looked <em> good. </em> He looked like himself, Adam thought, and then wondered how he could possibly know that. But somehow, he just did. </p>
<p><em> This is not a date</em>, Adam reminded himself again before crawling into the back seat. </p>
<p>“Hello, Adam,” Gansey said. </p>
<p>“Gansey,” he replied, giving him a small nod. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you could join us tonight,” Gansey added as Ronan situated himself in the passenger seat.</p>
<p>Adam watched him. “Yeah, me too,” he said.</p>
<p>“I hope Nino’s is all right with you,” Gansey said.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s fine,” Adam answered. Not that there were many other options in this town. He tried to remember if Blue was working there tonight. He thought she was, and wondered how she’d feel when she saw the three of them come in. He’d called her from the church phone the night before to fill her in on everything she’d missed, and she’d wished him luck.</p>
<p>
  <em> “You’re going to need it, trying to be friends with President Cell Phone.” </em>
</p>
<p>He laughed to himself, lost in his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Something funny, Parrish?” Ronan asked.</p>
<p>“What? Oh, I was just thinking. Blue works there. I think she might be working tonight.”</p>
<p>“Really?” Gansey asked. Did his voice sound… hopeful?</p>
<p>“Yeah, she was saying something the other day about switching some shifts. I don’t remember for sure,” he said, studying Gansey’s expression.</p>
<p>They pulled into Nino’s a few minutes later. It wasn’t too crowded, most of their patronage away for the summer. Cialina greeted them and led them to a booth. They ordered drinks and Adam looked around to see if Blue was there, but he didn’t see her. Maybe he’d been wrong. </p>
<p>Ronan was sitting across from him, and if he squinted, he could pretend Gansey wasn’t next to him. Slowly, cautiously, he slid his foot forward until it made contact with Ronan’s. His heart was pounding, which was ridiculous, but undeniable. Ronan’s expression didn’t change. Damn, he’d hoped to get some kind of reaction out of him. </p>
<p>He scooted his foot further, and to his horror, Gansey’s eyebrows furrowed slightly and he looked down.</p>
<p>Quick as lightning, Adam retracted his foot and stood up, banging his knee on the underside of the table.</p>
<p>“Bathroom,” he mumbled as he walked away. He could feel Ronan watching him, of course. For the first time ever, he really wished he wasn’t. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>As Adam disappeared around the corner, Ronan raised an eyebrow at Gansey. <em> What was that about? </em></p>
<p>Gansey didn’t appear to notice, which Ronan thought was weird. He seemed distracted, his eyes focused on the front of the restaurant.</p>
<p>“Hello, Earth to Gansey,” he said, waving a hand in front of his face.</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry,” he said, “Did I miss something?”</p>
<p>“What’s up with you?” Ronan asked.</p>
<p>Gansey let out a small sigh. “I suppose I should be honest with you, as you’ve been with me.”</p>
<p>Ronan just raised his eyebrow again. <em> Go on.  </em></p>
<p>“Remember our conversation last night? About feeling a connection with someone?” Gansey asked.</p>
<p>Ronan nodded.</p>
<p>“Well, I <em> think </em> I may have found that, even though I didn't realize it at first,” Gansey said, a complicated expression on his face.</p>
<p>“Yeah? With who?” Ronan asked.</p>
<p>“Blue,” Gansey sighed, like a weight was lifted off him.</p>
<p>“Parrish’s friend? Really? Have you ever even <em> talked </em>to her?”</p>
<p>Gansey shot him a look that said <em>You’re one to talk.  </em></p>
<p>“Yeah, okay. Fair enough,” he said. Who was Ronan to say Gansey couldn’t feel things for this girl the way that he did for Adam? “Do you think she feels the same?” Ronan asked, echoing Gansey’s question from the night before. </p>
<p>“I have absolutely no idea,” Gansey answered honestly. His face paled, and Ronan followed his gaze. She was there, talking to the girl who’d seated them.</p>
<p>“Hey, go find out, man,” Ronan said.</p>
<p>“You think I should?” Gansey asked nervously. </p>
<p>“It’s that or live your life never knowing,” Ronan pointed out.</p>
<p>“You’re right,” he said as he stood up, “Here goes nothing, I suppose.”</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>Adam made his way back to the booth, feeling a little better after splashing cool water on his face and gathering his courage. He’d overreacted. He needed to calm down.</p>
<p>He noticed Gansey get up and walk towards the front of the restaurant, and his heart started pounding again at the prospect of being alone with Ronan in the booth. So much for calming down.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Ronan asked as he sat down.</p>
<p>
  <em> Oh God. </em>
</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he answered, mouth dry. “Where’d Gansey go?” he asked, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible.</p>
<p>Ronan was silent for a minute, debating something in his head. Finally, he said, “I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you this, but I think he has a crush on your friend.”</p>
<p>Adam’s eyes widened. So that’s why Gansey was acting strange. <em> That </em> was certainly not going to end well. He let out a pitying laugh as he turned in his seat to watch as Gansey stood patiently waiting to talk to Blue. </p>
<p>“What, you don’t think the feeling is mutual?” Ronan asked him.</p>
<p>“Um. No,” he answered honestly. “Should we go rescue him?”</p>
<p>“Nah, I wanna see how this plays out,” Ronan said, a glint of mischief in his eyes.</p>
<p>“You’re a terrible friend,” Adam joked, a small smile on his face.</p>
<p>Ronan’s foot slid forward and touched Adam’s. His smile grew.</p>
<p>“You wound me, Parrish,” Ronan said, “I just think he needs to find out for himself.”</p>
<p>“I guess that’s true,” Adam conceded, though he still felt bad. Gansey had no idea what he was getting himself into.</p>
<p>“Damn right.”</p>
<p>Adam shook his head fondly. He slid his foot further alongside Ronan’s, watching for a reaction. He was not disappointed this time. </p>
<p>Ronan inhaled sharply. “So, um…”</p>
<p>Adam waited. “Yeah?” he said finally, when Ronan didn’t continue.</p>
<p>“Do you… do you think…” he started. “I mean, would you like…”</p>
<p>But Adam never got a chance to find out what Ronan was going to ask him. </p>
<p>“I am not a prostitute!” a voice hissed viciously. It was undeniably Blue’s. He turned to see her, a furious expression on her face when she caught his eye.</p>
<p>Gansey was standing to the side, mouth open like a fish, unmoving.</p>
<p>Adam and Ronan looked at each other, then stood at once. Ronan threw some money for the drinks on the table and they marched as one, pulling Gansey towards the exit with them. He looked back at Blue. <em> We are so going to be talking about this later</em>, she said with her eyes. He nodded his understanding before walking out the door.</p>
<p>“Oh God,” Gansey said, dazed, “Oh <em> God</em>.”</p>
<p>Adam sent Ronan a look. <em> I told you we should have rescued him. </em></p>
<p>Ronan shot one back. <em> How the hell was I supposed to know </em> that <em> was going to happen? </em></p>
<p>Gansey looked like he was going to faint. They laid him out on the back seat, and Ronan took his keys. </p>
<p>“I’ll be right back,” Adam told Ronan before going back inside.</p>
<p>He found Blue at once. “I have no idea what happened, but I’m sorry,” he said. </p>
<p>“What happened is your new friend is just like I said, oblivious and steeped in privilege,” she ranted. “I can’t even…” she trailed off, nostrils flaring in anger. “Just go, Adam. Get him out of here. If you care about me at all, just do that for me.”</p>
<p>He tentatively reached to touch her arm. “Of course I care about you, Blue.”</p>
<p>She softened a bit. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I know you do.”</p>
<p>“I can stay,” he offered.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath. “No,” she said finally, “Go with them. Maybe teach him some manners while you’re at it.”</p>
<p>He smiled at her. “I’ll catch up with you when you get off, okay?”</p>
<p>She nodded, and went back to work. When Adam got back outside, Ronan was standing next to the open driver side door, and Gansey was still laying down in the back seat.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe she said that,” he was saying, “I can’t believe she thought that’s what I…” he trailed off. </p>
<p>Adam walked around the car and got in the passenger seat. He didn’t know what to say.</p>
<p>“I promise, that was <em> not </em>what I was implying,” he said, staring at the ceiling, “Adam, you have to believe me—”</p>
<p>Adam soothed his worries. “I believe you, Gansey.” He still didn’t know what had happened, but the honesty of Gansey’s words was written all over his face. </p>
<p>Gansey fell silent, somewhat relieved. His eyes still focused upwards. </p>
<p>Adam felt bad. He’d known that conversation wasn’t going to go well, but he hadn’t done anything to stop it. Not that he’d thought it would have gone like <em> that.  </em></p>
<p>Ronan started the car. Wordlessly, he drove them to a drive thru. He ordered for all of them, specifying no pickle and no sauce on one of the burgers.</p>
<p>“Anything special about yours?” Ronan asked.</p>
<p>Adam shook his head. He’d never been picky.</p>
<p>After they’d gotten their food, he drove them to what looked like an old warehouse. Gansey had been silent the entire time, but he sat up when they arrived at their destination. </p>
<p>A moment passed, rife with tension.</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry, Adam,” Gansey said finally, “This was not how I planned for this evening to go.”</p>
<p>Adam wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s fine,” he settled on, though it was clear Gansey didn’t think so.</p>
<p>“Please come inside,” Gansey continued.</p>
<p>Adam eyed the building suspiciously. </p>
<p>“Yeah, we live here,” Ronan confirmed. “Home sweet warehouse.”</p>
<p>Adam laughed, and the tension in the car was broken. Gansey even smiled. </p>
<p>They made their way into the building, and Adam looked around, surprised. This was certainly not what he’d had in mind when he’d thought about where Ronan might live. Or Gansey, for that matter.</p>
<p>They sat down on the floor and Ronan distributed the food. Adam’s knee was dangerously close to his, and as Ronan leaned to give Gansey his special burger, they touched. Adam inhaled audibly, and Ronan suppressed a grin.</p>
<p>Thankfully, he was spared any further embarrassment by the sudden appearance of another boy, blond and smudgy-looking. Adam immediately felt bad that they hadn’t brought him anything to eat.</p>
<p>The boy looked at him, and then at Ronan. </p>
<p>“Oh, this is new,” he said to himself, and Adam thought it sounded less like an observation and more like a reminder. He felt a strange shiver.</p>
<p>“Oh, hello there, Noah,” Gansey said, looking up. “This is Adam. He’s… a friend,” he finished, looking at Adam hopefully. </p>
<p>Adam sent him a smile. Despite everything, it felt true. He wasn’t sure how it would all work out yet, what with Blue clearly wanting nothing to do with Gansey, but he wasn’t throwing in the towel just yet.</p>
<p>“Yes,” Noah agreed, sitting down next to him.</p>
<p>Adam felt something warm in him. He’d never had a real group of friends before.</p>
<p>“You want some?” he asked, politely offering Noah some of his food.</p>
<p>“Oh, no thank you. Not hungry,” he said.</p>
<p>As the evening passed, the boys ate mostly in silence, but somehow it wasn’t awkward. It felt comfortable. Adam wondered if he’d ever find out what Ronan had been trying to ask him, but he didn’t want to bring it up in front of everyone. Eventually, Ronan got up and he and Noah began to play pool, bickering playfully back and forth. He and Gansey watched, companionably quiet.</p>
<p>After a little while, Gansey excused himself to go take a shower. Adam hoped he was feeling better. Whatever had happened, he was clearly remorseful. He looked at the time. He still had a little over an hour before he had to go meet Blue.</p>
<p>He turned his eyes back to the game, and Ronan glanced back at him, clearly trying to show off. Adam watched him intently. Ronan made a big show of things, and right as he was about to make his shot, Adam met his eyes and smirked. <em> Give him a taste of his own medicine</em>, he thought.</p>
<p>Ronan missed, spectacularly, and Adam couldn’t help but laugh aloud.</p>
<p>“Something funny, Parrish?” Ronan asked him for the second time that evening. He was going for a scowl, but his eyes betrayed him.</p>
<p>“You,” Adam answered. He liked being on this side of things. No wonder Ronan was so amused when he’d dropped those drinks. </p>
<p>Ronan huffed, but Adam could tell his heart wasn’t in it. He and Noah went on with their game, and Adam looked around the strange building. It was odd, he thought, how easily he seemed to fit in here. He pictured himself coming back, hanging out after a long day of work. He could imagine it well, and he smiled to himself. </p>
<p>When he looked up again, Ronan was already looking at him, a matching smile on his face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really struggled writing this chapter, so please let me know if you liked it! Or if you didn't.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Ronan lay in bed that night, he gave up any hope of sleeping and instead devoted his time to thinking about Adam. About how it had felt to have him here in Monmouth, like he belonged. How he'd taken to Noah so quickly, had known how to help Ronan with Gansey during his crisis. They'd worked as a team without a word and he already felt like a part of their group. And that was good, <em>really</em> good, but Ronan also worried about the invisible boundaries of everything. If they were all friends, would it be weird to take the relationship further? He definitely still wanted that. Wanted it even more, now. He'd gone from being interested in a practical stranger to feeling like he'd known Adam forever, like he just <em>fit</em>. Should he make a move soon, or should he wait until Adam was more comfortable with everyone? Or would that be too late?</p><p>He groaned. If only he'd been able to get the question out properly at Nino's before the whole Gansey situation had exploded. He didn't think he could have been more pathetic, stuttering over his words like a moron. How hard was it to say <em>Hey, I like you. Would you like to go out with me some time? </em>Too hard, apparently. Just being in Adam's presence left him tongue-tied, let alone trying to actually ask him out while being smooth about it. <em>Hey, I like you. Like, I </em>really <em>like you. I think about your smile all the time. I want to be the one to make you smile. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you. Any of that sound good to you?</em> Ugh, he was hopeless. </p><p>His only consolation was that he could still depend on his body language. He could say more with his eyes, or with a quirk of his lips, than he'd been able to say out loud. Ever since they'd met, they'd been having a conversation without words. If he couldn't depend on his brain to help him form coherent sentences, he could at least keep that conversation going. </p><p>*****</p><p>Bright and early the next day, Adam found himself outside Monmouth Manufacturing. After a long conversation with Blue the night before, where she'd explained what had happened, and he'd tried to convince her that Gansey wasn't as bad as he seemed, they'd come to an agreement. Adam agreed to talk to Gansey about how what he'd said had been offensive, and Blue agreed not to give him crap for hanging out with him. She still wanted nothing to do with Gansey herself, but she'd promised Adam that she never wanted to try to tell him who he could or couldn't be friends with. He still felt bad, though, and hoped that somehow, someday they'd all be friends. He thought that she'd get along with Noah, at least. </p><p>He knocked on the door, hoping someone was already awake. He knew he should be hoping for Gansey, since he was the real reason Adam had biked over before he headed to the garage, but his heart had other ideas. Unfortunately, his heart was disappointed. </p><p>“Oh hello, Adam,” Gansey said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.</p><p>“Sorry if I woke you,” Adam started.</p><p>“Oh, no. I was awake. I'm afraid I didn't sleep much last night,” he said, and the soft cadence of his voice was so pitiable that Adam had to look away for a moment. </p><p>“Would you mind taking me to work? That's not actually why I'm here, but my bike chain broke on the way over. If you take me, I can work on the Pig while we're there. If you don't have any other plans for this morning, I mean,” Adam said, feeling a bit like he was rambling. </p><p>“That sounds like an excellent idea,” Gansey said with a genuine smile, “Why <em>are</em> you here, though?”</p><p>Adam thought for a moment about how to bring it up.</p><p>Gansey sensed his hesitation, but misread the reasons behind it. “You <em>are </em>always welcome here, of course. I didn't mean to imply otherwise.”</p><p>Adam held back a laugh. This was a prime example of what he'd tried to tell Blue. Gansey was always trying to be welcoming and accommodating, even if that meant literally offering to pay Blue to spend time with him because she’d told him she couldn’t afford to take time away from work. And now Adam was tasked with explaining how offensive he'd been. He had his work cut out for him. </p><p>“I talked to Blue last night,” Adam finally said. </p><p>Gansey's face fell. “Please don't remind me of that,” he said.</p><p>“Sorry, but I promised her I'd talk to you.”</p><p>His face perked up again. “Really?”</p><p>Adam sighed. This was going to be a long conversation. </p><p>*****</p><p>They spent the morning together, and Adam fixed the Pig, deep in discussion with Gansey about how he’d offended Blue and how he could do better. Thankfully no one else was around to listen to their conversation. Boyd sometimes let Adam come in and get some work done before they actually opened or after they closed so he could squeeze more hours into his day, so it was just the two of them this morning. Good thing, too, because his coworkers would have run Gansey off the property if they heard half the things he said. Adam found himself having to control the urge to do just that. They ended up fighting, because Adam could only take so much before losing his temper, but somehow it felt okay. And then Gansey genuinely apologized, and Adam grumbled a half-formed apology, still angry but softening, and everything <em>was</em> okay.</p><p>Gansey paid for the work on the car, and got ready to leave. He told Adam he’d be back to pick him up since his bike was still sitting useless in the trunk.</p><p>“I just want you to know,” Gansey said as he got back into the Pig, “I don’t think I’ll be coming to the country club for a little while. I just don’t think I can face her, Adam. Not yet.”</p><p>“I understand,” Adam replied, though he was saddened at the thought that this meant Ronan wouldn’t be coming either. But maybe that was for the best; he’d actually be able make it through a shift without dropping anything, and now that things were changing it wouldn’t be the only opportunity he had to see Ronan again.</p><p>Later, Gansey took Adam to his apartment so he could shower and change before going to his second job of the day, and when they got there Adam pulled his bike out of the trunk. There was a shiny new chain on it.</p><p>“Gansey,” Adam groaned, “We literally talked about this just this morning.”</p><p>“What?” Gansey said, looking perplexed. His head was hanging out the window turned back towards Adam.</p><p>“You can’t just buy things for me without asking,” Adam complained, walking the bike towards the front of the car.</p><p>“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Adam,” he said.</p><p>Adam studied his face. He seemed to be telling the truth, but Adam was still skeptical. No one else knew about his bike chain.</p><p>“You really don’t know?” Adam asked.</p><p>“I really don’t,” Gansey answered.</p><p>Adam pointed down at his bike, and Gansey's eyes followed.</p><p>“Ah,” Gansey said, looking slightly embarrassed, “I may have mentioned that to Ronan.”</p><p>Adam felt himself starting to blush. “Oh.”</p><p>Why did it feel so different coming from Ronan? Why did he have no problem accepting it now that he knew it hadn’t come from Gansey? Well, he knew <em>why</em>, but it felt bigger than that. Bigger than just accepting a gift from the guy he had a huge crush on.</p><p>Suddenly Adam was faced with the horror of realizing that he had no idea what Gansey thought about all of this. Adam knew it was clear to anyone paying attention that he and Ronan had been flirting, and Gansey had obviously been paying attention.</p><p>“Don’t worry, I won’t say anything to him,” Gansey said with a shy smile. He understood Ronan, and now he was beginning to understand Adam, too.</p><p>Adam gave Gansey a shy smile of his own, feeling ridiculously happy.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam Parrish could do many things well. He trained himself to pick up new skills and loved to learn. But one of the things he did best was prioritize.</p><p>
  <em> Do I need this or do I want this? </em>
</p><p>He found himself asking that question a lot, and he was intimately familiar with the process of figuring out what was the most important. He always, always put his needs first. And he usually had no trouble with it. Sure, there were times when he may want something that he couldn’t have, or that he couldn’t have <em> right now</em>, but he dealt with it. He was good at that.</p><p>Until now. Until the thing he wanted, wanted so badly he almost couldn’t stand it, but couldn’t have, was a person.</p><p>Ronan.</p><p>And Gansey too, and Noah, but he wasn’t <em> quite </em> as put out about them yet.</p><p>Really, it wasn’t that he couldn’t have <em> Ronan. </em> It was that he didn’t have any <em> time </em>for Ronan. Or, not as much as he wanted, anyway, and he worried that whatever this was between them was going to fizzle out before it got a chance to go anywhere. Working three jobs, preparing to start at Aglionby in the fall (he’d just received last minute confirmation that yes, he did earn a partial scholarship with his acceptance, the only way he’d be able to attend), and then trying to divide time between Blue and her family, and the boys who resided at Monmouth Manufacturing was nothing short of exhausting. He couldn’t imagine what it’d be like when he actually started school. His only consolation in that department was that Ronan and Gansey and Noah all went to school there, too.</p><p>And to top it all off, Ronan and Gansey hadn’t been coming to the country club either, so he didn’t even get a chance to see them while he was at work. As the days slowly turned into weeks, he felt more and more stretched thin. His list of wants began to change, too.</p><p>What do you <em>want</em>, Adam?<em> To feel awake when my eyes are open. </em></p><p>When he thought about it, he realized that he’d only seen Ronan twice in the last couple of weeks, and both times were short, and they hadn’t gotten a moment to themselves either time.</p><p>He was so tired. </p><p>***** </p><p>Blue Sargent was a good friend. She was fierce, and loyal, and she really did love Adam. He was her best friend. So she noticed when his eyes got a little bit sadder, and his feet dragged a bit too much, and even though he didn’t complain to her about it, she knew what the reason was. And she knew that she could help. Even if that meant doing the last thing she wanted to do. She sighed.</p><p>
  <em> You better love me, Adam Parrish.  </em>
</p><p>*****</p><p>Richard Campbell Gansey III knew that he lived a life of privilege. He knew that this often got in his way when he was trying not to be offensive, or oblivious to the problems that people in different circumstances faced. </p><p>It was one of his greatest concerns. He was always trying to do better, to think before he spoke, to have his words be uplifting, or comforting, or anything other than weapons of mass destruction.</p><p>His words had most certainly been just that, that night at Nino’s. He had really taken the cake this time, hadn’t he? And now he had ruined things for Adam. He could hardly ask Adam to waste any of his precious time on him when he could be spending that time with Blue. </p><p>Blue, who was Adam’s best friend. Who had been the target of his thoughtless words. Who, no matter what he told himself, he couldn’t stop thinking about. </p><p>Everything was terrible. </p><p>So he nearly had to pinch himself when he answered the knocking on the door of Monmouth Manufacturing and found Blue Sargent standing there, arms crossed, a scowl on her face, looking nothing short of breathtaking.</p><p>“This has to stop,” she said, not looking at him.</p><p>“Yes,” he said automatically, though he actually had no clue what he was agreeing with.</p><p>“Can I come in? We need to talk,” she said, still not clarifying what she had meant.</p><p>He let her in.</p><p>*****</p><p>Ronan Lynch had many secrets. He kept them like it was a hobby, like he was collecting them and storing them away for safekeeping. </p><p>His latest secret was a little shameful, just in the fact that it was a secret at all. It wouldn’t be so bad if it were actually out in the open, but it wasn’t, and that just made it worse and made him want to keep it all the more. </p><p>Because his latest secret was that he couldn’t seem to stop looking for Adam Parrish wherever he went, and that he actually seemed to be able to find him relatively easily. Only after it had happened the second time, after he’d ducked out of the way so that Adam would not see him, did he realize that he was effectively stalking his crush. </p><p>He did not want to be stalking his crush. He wanted to be actually spending time with him. But that was becoming harder and harder to do lately. </p><p>So here he was, late at night, sitting in his car in the parking lot of Boyd’s, trying to work up the courage to get out and go <em> talk </em> to him for once in his life. If only his words didn’t constantly fail him, maybe then he wouldn’t be so afraid. </p><p>Adam’s bike was outside the shop. That’s how he knew he was even here. He knew that bike well. He’d spent some quality time with it, replacing the broken chain. Adam hadn’t spoken of it since, and neither had Ronan. To be fair, they hadn’t had all that much time to speak of anything lately. And even though he hated the way he couldn’t seem to form a decent sentence when graced with Adam’s presence, he hated not being able to talk to him at all even more. </p><p>So he said fuck it, and got out of the car. </p><p>He was pretty sure that Boyd’s was actually closed at the moment, which was good and also bad. Good because he was pretty sure this meant Adam was here alone, and they hadn’t had a moment to themselves in far too long, and bad because he didn’t know how to approach without it looking like he was trying to break in and rob the place. </p><p>He settled for walking around the perimeter until he found a window, and when he looked inside he could see Adam’s legs sticking out from underneath a truck. He began tapping on the window, not really sure what else to do. When that didn’t work, he started banging on it. </p><p>Quick as a flash, Adam slid out from under the truck, eyes wide. When he saw Ronan, he gave him an exasperated look and pointed towards the back of the building, then started walking in that direction. Ronan followed. Really, he hadn’t mean to scare Adam, but he laughed to himself about it anyway. </p><p>“Jesus, Lynch, you scared the shit out of me,” Adam said as he opened the back door to let Ronan inside. </p><p>Ronan laughed out loud this time.</p><p>“Asshole,” Adam muttered, and Ronan had to keep himself from laughing even more. </p><p>“What are you doing here?” Adam asked as he made his way back to the truck.</p><p>“I was just driving by,” Ronan said.</p><p>Adam gave him a look before he settled back underneath the truck.</p><p>“And you just thought you’d come walk around the outside of a garage that’s closed for the day?”</p><p>Ronan took a breath. Adam couldn’t actually see him, and somehow that made talking to him easier.</p><p>“I saw your bike, so I figured you’d be in here, and I thought I’d see if you wanted to do something when you got off work,” he said as casually as he could. </p><p>“Do something like what?” Adam asked, sounding genuinely curious. </p><p>Shit, he hadn’t actually thought that far.</p><p>“I don’t know,” he admitted.</p><p>Adam finished what he was doing and slid out again, but stayed sitting on the floor. “You don’t really plan ahead much, do you?” he asked, smiling softly.</p><p>“I guess not,” Ronan answered, as he smiled back.</p><p>Adam took a breath and sighed, his smile melting away. He pulled his knees up to his chest and placed his forehead on them, letting out a tiny groan.</p><p>“Hey, if this is a bad time, that’s okay,” Ronan began, frowning.</p><p>Adam’s head whipped up. “No,” he said, “It’s not, really. I’ve just been a little stressed out lately. I could use a distraction.”</p><p>Ronan grinned. “Then you’ve come to the right guy,” he said.</p><p>“Technically, you came to me,” Adam pointed out. </p><p>Ronan rolled his eyes. “Whatever. You gonna be done soon?”</p><p>“Yeah, just let me clean up,” Adam said as he got up off the floor. </p><p>“I’ll go put your bike in the trunk. Meet me out there when you’re ready,” he said as he headed out the back door.</p><p>A plan had started forming in his mind, but he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go through with it yet. He had to clean out his trunk to fit the bike in it, and in his pursuit he found what he was looking for. It was a skateboard he’d used with Noah when they’d built ramps outside of Monmouth. He hadn’t really known what he was doing, but that was part of the fun, and Noah showed him the basics. </p><p>He would have taken Adam back to Monmouth to test out the ramps again if it wasn’t so late, and if he didn’t want Adam all to himself tonight. So when Adam finally came out and got in the passenger seat, he drove them to the skate park. </p><p>“Are we supposed to be here?” Adam asked dubiously.</p><p>“No, but that’s part of the fun,” Ronan said.</p><p>Adam huffed out a breathy laugh, but got out of the car and followed Ronan inside the chain link fence separating it from the rest of the playground. </p><p>It turned out Adam had absolutely no idea what he was doing, which really did make things a lot more fun. And it made Ronan look like he <em> did </em> know what he was doing, which he didn’t, but at least he was better at this than Adam was, and he could therefore attempt to teach him. If this led to touching Adam’s arm, or the small of his back, well, that was just a coincidence. </p><p>Finally, after successfully skating down a ramp and not falling and breaking his leg, he managed to convince Adam to try it out. He’d refused at first, but after seeing Ronan do it, he’d gotten a look in his eye like he couldn’t let Ronan be better than him at something. </p><p>Ronan liked that look. </p><p>Adam stood at the top of the ramp, eyeing the slope of it warily.</p><p>“Come on, Parrish,” Ronan said, “I’m right here. I’ll catch you if you fall.”</p><p>Their eyes met and Ronan had to swallow, suddenly, as he thought about what he’d just said. And before he could think about it any longer, Adam was pushing off the ramp and speedily making his way down it towards Ronan.</p><p>Right <em> into </em>Ronan. </p><p>They crashed together magnificently, and ended up sprawled on the ground, Adam on top of Ronan.</p><p>
  <em> Adam was on top of Ronan.  </em>
</p><p>Suddenly, he couldn’t feel anything else. Not the concrete beneath him, or where he’d banged his elbow on the way down. Everything, everywhere, was Adam Parrish. </p><p>Adam looked down at him, and he looked up at Adam. They didn’t say anything, just staring at each other like they’d been doing for weeks. Ronan thought that if he leaned up, just a little, they’d be kissing. He couldn’t actually make his body do that, though, so he stayed frozen, cursing himself for his inability to get the guts to make a move.</p><p>And suddenly, Adam was laughing. It was such a joyous sound, carefree and alive. Ronan couldn’t help but laugh with him.</p><p>Adam turned and laid down on the ground next to him, still laughing. His pinky touched Ronan’s. </p><p>“I needed that,” he said between laughs. “Thank you.” </p><p>He turned his head towards Ronan, and Ronan turned his head towards Adam, and they laid there on the ground like they didn't have a care in the world. And right now, they didn't. Adam was smiling so brightly that Ronan thought it could have lit a thousand suns and he knew, right then, that he'd do whatever it took to keep making Adam smile like that. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Adam’s birthday came and went without much fanfare. He was used to that, though, and didn’t really like drawing attention to himself. So he’d gone to work, not expecting it to be anything other than another normal day. And it wasn’t. Except when he got home that night, he found Blue sitting on the steps outside his apartment waiting for him. This was also normal, though. In the past couple of years they’d known each other, Blue had always found a way to celebrate his birthday in some small way, knowing he didn’t expect or even really want more than that.</p><p>“Happy birthday,” she said in greeting as he climbed the stairs.</p><p>“Thanks, Blue,” he said as she pulled two cupcakes out from behind her back. </p><p>He sat down next to her and watched as she put a candle in one of them and lit it. </p><p>“Make a wish,” she said.</p><p>He closed his eyes and thought of Ronan as he blew out the small flame.</p><p>“What did you wish for?” Blue asked him.</p><p>“I can’t tell you or it won’t come true,” he said before he licked at the frosting.</p><p>“I bet I know though,” she said with a gleam in her eye.</p><p>“You know nothing,” he insisted petulantly.</p><p>“Uh huh,” she said, grinning, “By the way, I do have a present for you but I’m not done with it yet so you’ll have to wait.”</p><p>“Oh, you don’t have to—”</p><p>Blue cut him off with a glare. “Don’t even attempt to finish that sentence.”</p><p>They’d had this conversation way too many times by now.</p><p>“Yeah, okay,” he conceded.</p><p>They sat on the steps enjoying their cupcakes and the cool evening breeze that had finally pushed away the day’s heat. Time slipped away from them as they talked about everything and nothing and Adam once again found himself thankful to have a friend like Blue Sargent.</p><p>After some time had passed quietly, Blue nudged Adam gently.</p><p>“Whatcha thinking about?”</p><p>When he turned his face towards her, he couldn’t think of how to articulate his thoughts so he just looked at her for a minute.</p><p>“Do you believe in fate?” he asked quietly.</p><p>“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, “I mean, kind of, but I also sometimes want to tell fate to go screw itself.”</p><p>He laughed. “That does sound like you.”</p><p>“Who knows?” she continued, “Sometimes it does feel like there are people we are supposed to meet, or things we’re supposed to do, but I don’t believe everything is just laid out for us and that we don’t have a choice in the matter.”</p><p>“Yeah,” he agreed, still musing.</p><p>“I think you need to make a decision and go after the things you want,” she added, giving him a <em> look</em>, “Like you do with everything else.”</p><p>Sometimes it was scary just how well she could read him. It was times like these he had trouble believing she wasn’t actually psychic.</p><p>*****</p><p>The following Sunday, Adam returned to his apartment after work. He noticed a familiar BMW was still in the lot and he checked his watch, wondering what was keeping Ronan at church later than usual. He went inside to take a shower before heading over to Fox Way, and when he came back out it was still there. </p><p>Casting his eyes around, he looked for Ronan but didn’t see him anywhere. He didn’t want to intrude by actually going inside the church though, so he headed down the stairs and towards his bike.</p><p>“Hey,” a voice called out.</p><p>He turned, looking for the source of it, and saw Ronan’s head hanging out the window of the driver’s seat.</p><p>“Hey,” he answered, walking towards him, “What are you still doing here?”</p><p>“Not still,” Ronan replied, and Adam could see that was true because he was back in his usual jeans and tank rather than the fitted suit Adam had seen him in once that had nearly made him fall over when he did. </p><p>“Okay, then what are you doing here now?” he asked.</p><p>“I was in the neighborhood,” Ronan replied, “Wanna go for a drive?”</p><p>Adam hesitated. He really did want to, but he was supposed to be at Blue’s soon. </p><p>Ronan read his expression, like he always did. “I can take you to the convent after,” he said.</p><p>“You’re terrible,” Adam told him, but he got into the passenger seat.</p><p>“You like it,” Ronan said with a wicked grin, and Adam had to agree.</p><p>They drove out of town as Ronan tried to figure out just how fast he could go and Adam tried to figure out just how much he could handle before speaking up. But just as he was about to finally say something about it, Ronan slowed and pulled the car off the road and into an empty field of dirt. </p><p>“You know how to drive stick?” Ronan asked him.</p><p>“No,” Adam admitted, frowning.</p><p>“Wanna learn?” Ronan asked, that wicked grin back on his face.</p><p>“Yes,” Adam said before he could think about it. “I mean, I shouldn’t stay long, though, I told Blue—”</p><p>Ronan didn’t wait for him to finish. He got out of the car, walked around to the passenger side and pulled Adam out by his arm.</p><p>“You still have time,” Ronan said, as if he knew what plans Adam and Blue had made better than Adam did. He pulled Adam around the car, and in any other situation Adam would have protested, but he liked the way Ronan’s hand was wrapped around his wrist and didn’t want him to let go any sooner than he needed to.</p><p>Adam was not a fast learner, but he suspected this had more to do with the way Ronan cursed at him whenever he stalled, and less to do with his precision. The words were harsh, but the way he said them… well, Adam was starting to picture him saying those things under very different circumstances. </p><p>And finally, Adam couldn’t take it any longer. He stopped the car and turned to Ronan.</p><p>“My birthday was this week,” he began, and Ronan nodded like he'd already known this. Adam wondered at that, but pushed on.</p><p>“I never used to care about birthdays, really, until Blue came along and made me start celebrating them.”</p><p>Ronan stayed silent, but he was looking at him intently. The moment felt charged.</p><p>“We celebrate mine, and we celebrate hers, and we give each other presents and I had to train myself to accept them, you know? I wasn’t used to that kind of thing. I wasn’t used to anything more than just getting by.”</p><p>Ronan looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't, so Adam continued.</p><p>“For a long time, I didn’t even let myself want things, let alone actually have them.”</p><p>He leaned closer towards Ronan. “I’m getting better at that, at going after what I want.”</p><p>Ronan swallowed and Adam watched his Adam’s apple bob. </p><p>“You should,” Ronan said, finally speaking as their eyes met, “You deserve everything you could ever want.”</p><p>Adam stared into Ronan's eyes and for a moment, they just looked. They’d gotten pretty good at this, at speaking without words. Adam sent a question with his eyes, and saw confirmation of the answer in Ronan’s.</p><p>He reached up and placed a hand on Ronan’s cheek. Ronan let out a small breath and his eyes fluttered shut at the touch, his dark eyelashes casting shadows over his cheekbones.</p><p>“I want <em> you</em>,” Adam whispered.</p><p>And then his lips were on Ronan’s and a brilliant white light was filling him from the inside. Ronan’s hands were in his hair, pulling him closer, and Adam felt himself climbing over the center console and before he knew what he was doing he was straddling Ronan’s lap. The other boy let out a muffled sound before running his hands over Adam’s ribs.</p><p>Adam’s arms had moved to wrap around Ronan’s neck and shoulders, pressing in even closer. Ronan’s hands moved to his back, holding him so tenderly that Adam sucked in a sharp breath. He didn’t focus on that for long, though, putting his mouth back to good use. </p><p>They stayed tangled together, lips on lips, and on skin, hands exploring, and when Adam finally decided to open his eyes again he noticed the sun had moved lower in the sky.</p><p>“I should call Blue,” he panted, pulling back.</p><p>“<em>Now?</em>” Ronan asked, eyes wide. </p><p>Adam waited a second to catch his breath. “Just to… just to tell her… that I’m running late. I don’t want her to worry.”</p><p>Ronan dug his phone out and looked at the time. “Shit,” he said, breathless, “We should go.”</p><p>Adam started to pull away, but Ronan stopped him with another searing kiss, pulling him in by his shirt collar. </p><p>“I don’t want to go,” he said against Adam’s lips, “But we should.”</p><p>“Since when do you care about what you <em> should </em>do?” Adam teased.</p><p>“I don’t. But I don’t lie and I made a promise I’d deliver you to the witches’ house tonight.”</p><p>“Well I hereby release you from your promise,” Adam said, nipping at Ronan’s jaw.</p><p>Ronan groaned, but it only sounded like half of it was from pleasure. Adam pulled back.</p><p>“What is it?” he asked.</p><p>“I didn’t promise <em> you</em>,” Ronan practically whined.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>Ronan sighed, resigned, then leaned up and kissed Adam lightly. </p><p>“You’ll see,” he said.<br/><br/></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It took every ounce of restraint Ronan had in him not to pull the car over and kiss Adam while they drove to the psychics’ house. The only thing stopping him was the fact that what was awaiting them there would make Adam happy, and that was something he would put before anything else. As he’d gotten to know this beautiful boy sitting next to him, he’d learned that Adam had already survived so much pain in his young life, and he never wanted him to suffer ever again. </p><p>He could still feel the aftermath of Adam’s lips on his, and wondered if he looked as disheveled as he felt. Probably. Adam was looking utterly debauched, though that just made him all the more radiant in Ronan’s eyes. His fingers twitched on the gearshift just thinking about it, and then Adam was slowly, cautiously placing his hand on Ronan’s as if it were a snake that might bite him if he wasn’t careful enough. Ronan threaded their fingers together and glanced in Adam’s direction. He had a soft smile on his face. Ronan was sure he wore a matching one. </p><p>There would be no hiding this from the others, he thought. Not with their kiss-bruised lips and Adam’s hair sticking up in places that he’d uselessly attempted to tame. And certainly not with the way they kept smiling at each other like idiots. </p><p>They should really talk about this, especially before they arrived at their destination. But Ronan was once again at a loss for words. Everything he thought of saying sounded so lame, but they all boiled down to the same sentiment: <em> What does this mean? </em></p><p>No, that wasn’t it, exactly. He knew what this meant for <em> him</em>, he just didn’t know for sure what it meant for Adam. </p><p>His heart was beating wildly with so many emotions at once: elation that he finally knew how it felt to kiss Adam Parrish, worry that Adam wasn’t as serious about this as he was, desire to kiss Adam again and again and again. He schooled his expression, willing himself to look way more collected than he felt. They got to the house, and Adam looked to him like he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Ronan didn't know if this was a good thing or not. </p><p>Adam tentatively reached for the door handle. </p><p>“Wait,” Ronan said and Adam's hand fell away at once. He looked over at Ronan, and Ronan could see he was working intensely with his thoughts. </p><p>“Is it okay if I tell Blue about… this?” Adam asked, gesturing between them. </p><p>“Yes,” Ronan answered at once. If Adam was telling Blue about… this… whatever <em> this </em> was, then it had to mean something, right? Something more than just a one-time makeout session. Ronan hadn't realized that was even a fear of his until it was too late. Nothing about this had ever seemed casual to him; he didn't understand how people could even <em> be </em>casual in the face of something like this. But he knew they did, had witnessed it firsthand with Declan and his flings. He didn't think he would survive if that was all Adam wanted from him. </p><p>“So what exactly am I telling her?” Adam asked. His words and his posture were radiating confidence but Ronan could see the hesitation in his eyes. The fear that Ronan might think there was nothing to tell. Relief washed over him. </p><p>“What do you want to tell her?” Ronan asked him as he traced a circle on Adam's upturned palm. </p><p>Adam slotted their fingers together before speaking. Ronan rubbed his thumb over Adam's knuckles and Adam smiled that soft smile at him again. </p><p>“I <em> want </em> to tell her that you're my boyfriend,” he said quietly. The hesitation in his eyes was gone.</p><p>Ronan's heart began to beat impossibly faster, and he vaguely wondered if it was possible for him to have a heart attack at his young age.</p><p>“I already told you that you deserve everything you want,” he said. </p><p>Adam let out a small laugh. “But is that what <em> you </em>want?” </p><p>“Don't ask stupid questions, Parrish,” Ronan said as he pulled Adam in for another hungry kiss. </p><p>After a few moments, Adam pulled away again. “Just so we’re clear…”</p><p>Ronan cut him off, framing his face with his hands and looking into his eyes. “Yes, Adam, that’s what I want. I want to be your boyfriend. I want you to be mine.”</p><p>Adam kissed him again, sweetly. “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time you’ve called me Adam,” he said. </p><p>Ronan didn’t know how to respond without sounding way too sappy. How could he tell Adam that he never used his first name because when he did there was no hiding just how head over heels for him he was? The last thing he wanted to do was scare Adam off. So he just shrugged noncommittally, but Adam seemed to catch on to some part of it because he brushed his knuckles over Ronan’s cheek and quietly said, “I liked it.”</p><p>That was it, Ronan was definitely going to die of a premature heart attack. </p><p>*****</p><p>When Adam finally tore himself away from Ronan and got out of the car, he was a little surprised to see Ronan get out and follow him. He still wasn’t sure what was going on, but he hadn’t really expected this.</p><p>They made their way to the door and Calla opened it to usher them inside.</p><p>“Snake,” she said to Ronan.</p><p>He bared his teeth at her and she laughed. Adam didn’t know what to think. Before he got a chance to ask Ronan what the hell was going on though, Gansey appeared, coming in from the back yard. Could today get any weirder? Maybe this was all just an elaborate dream and he’d wake up tomorrow and things would be back to normal and he wouldn’t have a boyfriend after all. He really hoped that wasn’t the case. </p><p>“Adam, Ronan, there you are!” Gansey said as he headed towards the freezer and pulled out a bag of ice. </p><p>Adam stared as Gansey made his way around the kitchen like he knew it well, pulling out a large pitcher and dumping the ice into it. Gansey noticed his staring and said, “Oh, this is for the iced tea.” </p><p>As if that cleared anything up.</p><p>Gansey finished what he was doing and looked up at them. He seemed to notice something was different about them. Adam wondered how completely unkempt he must look and began self-consciously attempting to tame his hair once more. </p><p>Gansey looked from Adam to Ronan and opened his mouth to speak. Thankfully, Blue came inside at that moment and interrupted whatever he was about to say.</p><p>“Adam! Finally!” she exclaimed.</p><p>“Um, yeah, sorry I’m late, I was… busy,” he said lamely.</p><p>She saw right through him, like she always did, and he knew he was never going to hear the end of it when she got him alone.</p><p>“Come up to my room,” she said as she made her way to the stairs. He followed immediately, sending a glance back to Ronan.</p><p>When they got inside her room, Blue sat on the bed and gestured for him to join her there.</p><p>“Okay, first of all, we are <em> so </em>going to talk about what happened with you and Ronan later.”</p><p>He grinned sheepishly.</p><p>Blue continued, now that that was out of the way. “Remember how I said I wasn’t done with your birthday present yet?” she asked.</p><p>“Yeah,” he said, wanting to ask her a million questions but letting her speak first.</p><p>“Well, this is it.”</p><p>“What?” he asked, still not entirely sure what she meant. </p><p>“I know I told you I didn’t want anything to do with Gansey, but I could see how having to keep us separate was weighing down on you.”</p><p>He opened his mouth to protest but she placed a hand over his mouth.</p><p>“This isn’t easy for me, so let me finish.”</p><p>He nodded, still unable to speak. </p><p>She removed her hand. “I went to see him, at his… warehouse.”</p><p>Adam’s eyes widened, but he kept his promise and didn’t say anything.</p><p>“And you were right. He isn’t as bad as I thought he was,” she admitted. “That doesn’t mean I…” she trailed off, “I mean, I wouldn’t call us close friends or anything, but… I’m trying. For you.”</p><p>Adam waited a moment before he said, “Can I speak now?”</p><p>Blue looked at him. “I guess,” she said with a hint of petulance.</p><p>He pulled her into a hug. “Thank you,” he said into her hair.</p><p>“Happy birthday, Adam,” she said, hugging him tighter.</p><p>*****</p><p>As the evening passed, Adam felt warm all over. There were burgers, and potato salad, and iced sweet tea, and Maura had even made her famous sludgy brownies. Everyone had come together to plan all of this, just for him. It was almost too much, and he didn’t know how to handle it. </p><p>Gansey and Blue were friendly towards each other, if not a little awkward. And they both kept sending knowing looks his and Ronan’s way, though neither of them actually said anything. Ronan stayed by his side all night, and even though they were barely even touching Adam felt like he was on fire.</p><p>Thankfully, no one had tried to give him any gifts. He didn’t think he could bring himself to accept anything more than they’d all already given him. This was all he needed. More than he needed, actually, but all that he wanted.</p><p>He looked around the backyard, feeling happier than he ever had before. Gansey was deep in discussion with Maura, who looked like she was trying to interrogate him with her mind, Orla was chasing some of the smaller cousins around the big beech tree, Noah was happily petting Blue’s hair, Persephone and Calla were very chatty, taking turns sneaking drinks out of a flask and pretending nobody noticed them, and Ronan was beside him, mindlessly tracing small patterns on the outside of his knee under the table. He felt like he could burst. For the first time in his life, he felt that he finally understood what it was like to truly belong.</p><p>Finally, when the night grew colder, and it was time to say goodbye, he pulled Blue in for another hug. “Thank you,” he said again.</p><p>“Call me later so we can talk,” she said as she pulled back, looking between him and Ronan.</p><p>“I will,” he promised.</p><p>Gansey and Noah left together, and he and Ronan headed to the BMW. When they pulled into St. Agnes, Adam waited before getting out. He didn’t want this night to end just yet. </p><p>“Hey, Adam?” Ronan said, and Adam felt a spark of electricity at the way Ronan said his name.</p><p>“Yeah?” he said, looking over at him. Ronan was fiddling with his leather wristbands. </p><p>“Can I give you something? I know what you said about accepting gifts, but… I’d really like to.”</p><p>Adam swallowed a lump in his throat. “Um, yeah, I guess that would be okay. As long as it isn’t something expensive.”</p><p>Ronan let out a small laugh. “It’s not. It’s… well this might be kind of… I don’t know. If you don’t want it, you don’t have to accept it.”</p><p>Adam waited for him to continue, but then he noticed Ronan was taking off one of the wristbands. He reached for Adam’s wrist, and Adam had to hold himself back from instinctively flinching away. This was too much. Everything about this day was too much, and he willed himself not to start crying at the gentle way Ronan held his wrist as he tied the bracelet there. Ronan lifted his wrist then, and placed a tender kiss to the inside of it.</p><p>“Happy birthday, Adam,” he said softly. </p><p>Adam looked into Ronan’s eyes once more, conveying everything he couldn’t bring himself to say out loud. He pulled Ronan in and kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him until their lips were sore and his heart couldn’t possibly feel any fuller.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the summer continued to get even warmer, and Ronan and Adam continued to get even more unbearable to be around, Blue found herself spending quite a lot of time with Gansey and sometimes Noah. Usually, it went like this: everyone would come together under the guise of hanging out as a group, and they <em> would </em> all hang out... for awhile. Until Ronan would do something or say something to make Adam blush, or vice versa, then the two of them would pretend like they forgot something in another room, or in Ronan’s car, or anywhere they could find some privacy, and the others who were <em> not </em> in a disgustingly sappy relationship would pretend like they believed them.</p><p>This was becoming such a routine that Blue didn’t even pretend to expect any different, and before she knew it she realized she was willingly spending time with Richard Campbell Gansey III, looking forward to it, even, and that she now considered him a friend.</p><p>She was friends with <em> Gansey</em>. And she hated it. </p><p>Because now that she’d noticed that she considered him a friend, she began to notice… other things. </p><p>Like how he had a nice mouth, when he was smiling at her.</p><p>And how when he laughed, he had nice eyes. </p><p>And how he looked ridiculous in his aquamarine polos and his terrible boat shoes, but somehow it was working for him. </p><p>She refused to acknowledge any of this out loud. </p><p>And thank God that Adam was so distracted by Ronan because otherwise he would have seen right through her and called her out on her hypocrisy. </p><p>Although, if he <em> wasn’t </em>so distracted by Ronan she wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place. </p><p>So basically, it was all Adam’s fault, and she would stand by that.</p><p>*****</p><p>A couple weeks later, Blue was at work with Adam when they found themselves taking a short break after the evening rush. The restaurant was dying down, only a couple tables left. They hadn’t had a chance to hang out in the past few days, so they were taking the opportunity to catch up with each other for a few minutes as they waited for their food to be ready. </p><p>After a moment, Adam casually said, “Oh, by the way, Gansey’s going on vacation with his family. They’re leaving in the morning so he’s staying with them tonight.”</p><p>“Oh?” Blue asked, trying not to sound too interested. </p><p>“Yeah, for like a month. Won’t be back until right before school starts.”</p><p>Blue felt herself processing many different emotions at the news, trying not to let her face show them. </p><p>The first emotion to hit her was sadness. She’d actually miss him. What a thought. </p><p>As she pondered this, she felt a hint of something she’d been furiously denying flare up inside of her. She pushed it back down.</p><p>And then, the anger came. He was leaving. For a whole month. And he hadn’t even told her himself, nor had he even cared enough to say goodbye to her. After all this time, she thought they’d made progress, thought that he’d actually come to care for <em> her</em>, not just the idea of her. But apparently he hadn’t cared enough.</p><p>She stormed out of the break room, leaving a confused and wide-eyed Adam behind. She couldn’t deal with this right now. </p><p>The food for her table was almost ready, just one plate left that would be up in a minute, so she grabbed a tray and began arranging it. Her hands were shaking, but she willed them to stop. Then the last plate was ready and she snatched it and made her way to the dining room, forcing herself not to scowl. </p><p>When she swung the door open, however, she couldn’t even see the table she was aiming for. Because there was Gansey in a bright yellow polo shirt and his hideous boat shoes, looking all… <em> Gansey</em>, which for some unfathomable reason had somehow come to mean <em> attractive. </em>She couldn’t hide her scowl any longer.</p><p>But then he smiled at her and it was so genuine she couldn’t deal with it. Unable to do anything, she froze in place and just stood there, looking at him.</p><p>“I was hoping to find you here,” he said, still smiling that genuine smile, “But please, don’t let me keep you. I can wait until you’re finished.”</p><p>Right. She was supposed to be working.</p><p>“Okay, then,” he continued when she didn’t say anything, “I’ll be over there.”</p><p>He gestured towards a table where she could see Ronan was sitting.</p><p>She nodded, and just as she started to step away from the kitchen door, it swung open behind her and Adam had no time to stop himself from bumping into her. Time slowed down as she felt herself lurching forward, the tray in her hands wobbling dangerously. </p><p>In an instant, she saw what would happen: she’d drop the tray, the people waiting for their food would be angry, and Monica would fire her. </p><p>But then, Gansey reached out and caught the underside of the tray with one hand and Adam gripped her shoulder, steadying her, and everything was fine. She blinked, willing her mind to catch up. </p><p>“Whoa, you okay?” Adam asked. “I didn’t see you standing there.”</p><p>“Yeah,” she said, still in a daze.</p><p>She walked away, determined not to let Gansey and all his... <em>Gansey-</em>ness distract her a second longer.</p><p>*****</p><p>“You’re not supposed to be here if you’re not gonna order something, you know,” Adam whispered in Ronan’s ear, grinning, as he passed by their table.</p><p>Ronan grinned back and appreciatively watched Adam’s form retreating as he carried a refilled drink to someone on the other side of the dining room.</p><p>Damn, his boyfriend was hot. </p><p>He turned back to Gansey, who was looking in Blue’s direction, of course.</p><p>“Still got it bad, huh?” Ronan said, waggling his eyebrows at him. </p><p>Gansey frowned. “We’ve been over this,” he said, sighing, “We’re just friends.”</p><p>“Sure,” Ronan said.</p><p>“Just because things worked out so well for you doesn’t mean it works that way for everyone. And that’s… fine. I’m fine,” Gansey insisted. </p><p>“Sure,” Ronan repeated.</p><p>“Regardless, it doesn’t matter. She’s made herself clear and I’m not going to disrespect that.”</p><p>Ronan opened his mouth to say something, but then Adam was back and he didn’t care anymore.</p><p>“Can I start you gentlemen off with something to drink?” Adam asked, trying not to laugh.</p><p>“Damn, Parrish, I think that’s the first time I’ve been called a gentleman,” Ronan said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him.</p><p>“That’s because I’m pretending I don’t know you,” Adam quipped. </p><p>They ordered drinks, and glanced over their menus. Ronan wasn’t especially hungry, having eaten some leftover pizza earlier, but when Gansey had asked him to come along so he could say goodbye to Blue before he left, he’d eagerly agreed. He’d take all the time he could get out of Adam’s busy schedule.</p><p>They took their time before ordering so that they’d be the only ones left in the dining room, and when Adam brought their food out, he sat down next to Ronan and leaned into him.</p><p>“Not that I’m complaining,” Ronan began, “But won’t your boss disapprove of you getting all up close and personal with your customers?”</p><p>“She left already,” Adam explained. “It’s just me, and Blue, and some line cooks left cleaning up in the kitchen.”</p><p>“Want some?” Ronan offered, directing a forkful of pasta towards Adam. He'd only ordered it because he knew it was Adam's favorite.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Adam said.</p><p>“I’m not gonna eat all of this,” Ronan insisted, knowing Adam would still refuse.</p><p>“Take it home, then.”</p><p>Ronan huffed, but didn’t make any more protests. He knew how to pick his battles. Maybe he could get Adam to eat it later. </p><p>“I thought you’d be with your parents by now,” Adam said to Gansey, changing the subject.</p><p>“I was hoping to see Blue before I left,” he said, voice even. </p><p>Adam exchanged a look with Ronan. </p><p>“Would you two stop that?” Gansey asked pointlessly.</p><p>“No,” Ronan answered.</p><p>Adam grinned at him before standing up. “I’ve got to go finish up for the night. I’ll bring you a box,” he said, his hand on Ronan’s shoulder.</p><p>Ronan turned his head and kissed Adam’s hand, delighted to see a blush creep over his face.</p><p>Gansey groaned.</p><p>*****</p><p>They all met in the parking lot after closing, and Blue was forced to confront her emotions concerning Gansey once more. He’d come to say goodbye to her after all. She didn’t know how to feel about this, suddenly. She’d been so angry when she thought he hadn’t cared enough to do it, and now that he was here, proving her wrong, she didn’t know what to do with that. She was good at being angry at him. She was not good at… whatever this feeling was. </p><p>And when he pulled her into a hug, and whispered, “I’ll miss you,” that feeling only grew. </p><p>Damn him. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After saying another goodbye to Gansey before his trip, Ronan drove Adam home to St. Agnes. What an appropriate place for him to live, Ronan thought. He’d already been worshipping there once a week and now he could do it on other days, too. </p><p>Adam was quiet on the ride home, but that wasn’t unusual. He worked too hard, in Ronan’s opinion, but he’d been refraining from saying anything about it. So far. This was all just so new and he didn’t want to ruin things between them. Not that they never argued. In fact, they argued all the time, but that was something he loved about this relationship with Adam. He wasn’t one to tiptoe around Ronan’s feelings, didn’t treat him like he was easily breakable. It made him want to push Adam against a wall and devour him.</p><p>So he did. As soon as they’d pulled into the parking lot, Adam had said, “Wanna come up for a while?” with that super-hot and confident half-grin he often sported in moments like these. Ronan hadn’t even answered, just shut the car off and threw his door open. That was answer enough. He’d reached for Adam’s hand as they made their way up the stairs and as soon as they’d gotten inside, he pushed him back against the door and began his worship for the evening.</p><p>After, Adam excused himself to take a shower, and Ronan used the time to sneak his leftover pasta from the car and into Adam’s mini-fridge. He knew he was skating on thin ice here, but he couldn’t help but worry. </p><p>When Adam came back out, Ronan was lounging on the mattress in his t-shirt and boxers. </p><p>Adam blinked at him. “Are you… staying the night?” he asked hesitantly.</p><p>Ronan sat up quickly. They’d been exploring the physical side of their relationship, but they hadn’t actually <em> slept </em> together yet. Somehow that felt like a bigger step than the ones they’d already taken. </p><p>“Um,” Ronan began. <em> Real eloquent, Lynch. </em>“I mean, I could.”</p><p>They stared at each other in silence.</p><p>“Unless you don’t want me to. And that’s okay—”</p><p>“No,” Adam said, cutting him off, “I mean, yes. I mean, I want you to,” he said, tripping over his words. A blush started creeping up his neck.</p><p>Ronan reached out a hand, a wide smile on his face. Adam took it and he pulled him down onto the mattress with him, wrapping him up into his arms. This was nice. He could get used to this. </p><p>Adam took advantage of his position to start placing small, hesitant kisses to his throat. He let out an embarrassing whine, but that only seemed to egg Adam on and soon he was sucking a bruise into the side of his neck, his hands wandering over the skin under his shirt before dipping lower. He could <em> really </em>get used to this. </p><p>*****</p><p>Adam lay awake after Ronan had drifted off, sated. He watched his boyfriend sleep and thought that he’d never seen something so beautiful. How he’d managed to get here, with a boyfriend who looked at him like he’d hung the moon, a bright future on the horizon, and a group of friends who felt like the family he never had, he still wasn’t sure. But he knew he wouldn’t take any of it for granted. </p><p>His thoughts turned to Blue and her strange behavior tonight. He hadn’t understood why she was upset, but as he analyzed all their interactions, a lightbulb went off. </p><p>He carefully extracted himself from Ronan’s embrace, making sure not to wake him, and then crept down to use the church phone. It wasn’t too late yet, and he suddenly had the urge to have a… <em> conversation </em> with his best friend. He grinned to himself, laughing at the absurdity of it all.</p><p>Blue was still awake, as he’d thought she would be. After exchanging pleasantries, he dove right in.</p><p>“So,” he said into the phone, “<em>Someone </em>has a crush, huh?”</p><p>“Do not use my words against me, Adam Parrish,” Blue replied.</p><p>“That’s not a denial.”</p><p>The line was silent for a moment.</p><p>“Oh my god, Blue, you have a <em> crush </em> on <em> Gansey,</em>” he said, trying his absolute hardest not to laugh. </p><p>“I’d rather not,” she said finally.</p><p>“That’s still not a denial.”</p><p>Blue let out an audible breath. Adam could imagine her face right now, and he couldn’t help but chuckle.</p><p>“Why must you notice <em> everything? </em>” she groaned out.</p><p>“You forget,” Adam said, mimicking Blue’s words to him once more, “I know exactly what it means when you’re all cute and flustered like this. I <em> have </em>experienced it firsthand.”</p><p>“I hate you,” Blue said. </p><p>“No you don’t,” Adam answered, a smile in his voice.</p><p>“Ugh, you’re right. I don’t. But for the love of god, Adam, please don’t make a huge deal out of this. Don’t say anything to him. I’m still figuring it out myself.”</p><p>“My lips are sealed,” he promised. He wondered if he was allowed to tell Ronan, but decided he’d figure that out later. </p><p>“Thanks,” Blue said. Then, with a hint of disgust, “I should go, I think Orla is expecting a call from one of her... <em> clients</em>.”</p><p>“Yeah, I should get back to—” Adam cut himself off. “Back to bed.”</p><p>“Back to bed, huh? That bed wouldn’t happen to have a certain tattooed boy in it, now would it?” Blue said, laughing.</p><p>“Um,” Adam said, unsure if he should deny it or not. He wasn’t ashamed, but he also didn’t feel like being teased about it. He knew he shouldn’t have thrown Blue’s words back at her like that.</p><p>“Oh my god, I was kidding!” Blue said, sounding delighted. “Nice job, Parrish.”</p><p>“Don’t say that,” Adam said immediately.</p><p>“What? Nice job? Sorry,” she said, delight turning to confused concern. “I didn’t mean—”</p><p>“No, I meant… ugh, this is stupid.” He felt his cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Never mind.”</p><p>“No, what did I say?” she insisted.</p><p>“Parrish,” he said reluctantly.</p><p>“I’m not allowed to say your name now?” Blue asked, puzzled. He should have just kept his damn mouth shut.</p><p>“That’s… that's what Ronan…” he slowly dragged out. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation.</p><p>“Oh my god!” Blue whispered furiously, “Is this some kind of… <em> sex thing? </em>”</p><p>“<em>What? </em> ” he sputtered, “No!” </p><p>In fact, it was really quite the opposite. Ronan seemed to use his first name more in intimate moments. Not that he was going to say that. </p><p>They both sat on the line in silence, feeling equally horrified and exposed.</p><p>“Okay, well, now that we’ve both been traumatized for the evening, I’m really going to hang up now,” Blue finally said. </p><p>“Yeah,” Adam agreed. “Goodnight, Blue.”</p><p>“Goodnight, <em> Adam</em>,” she said with a snicker.</p><p>“Oh, shut up,” he said.</p><p>“Nope,” she answered, “I’ve got leverage on you now. This’ll ensure you keep your mouth shut.”</p><p>“I told you, it’s <em> not a—</em>”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Go back to your boyfriend. Goodnight.”</p><p>Adam huffed out a sigh. “Night.”</p><p>He hung the phone up, still mortified, and then took a few moments to compose himself before sneaking back up to his apartment so he wouldn’t wake Ronan. </p><p>His efforts were in vain, though, as Ronan sat up the moment he closed the door.</p><p>“Adam?” he said sleepily, and Adam’s heart nearly burst at the way Ronan said his name. “What are you doing?”</p><p>Adam crawled back into the bed and wrapped an arm around him, pulling them to lay down together. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I just went to call Blue after you fell asleep.”</p><p>Ronan frowned. “I thought staying the night with you would mean you actually stayed in the bed with me, you know.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Adam said, running a hand over Ronan’s scalp. “I didn’t plan for it or anything, I just couldn’t sleep and wanted to talk for a bit.”</p><p>“Mmph,” Ronan said into his shoulder.</p><p>“You’re grumpy when you’re tired,” Adam pointed out, “It’s kind of cute.”</p><p>Ronan lifted his face to glare at him. “I am not <em> cute</em>.”</p><p>Adam laughed softly, tracing a finger over his eyebrow. “I beg to differ.”</p><p>Ronan softened under Adam’s touch, but maintained a look of disdain. Adam knew how to get rid of it, though. He pulled Ronan’s face towards him and kissed it away, until all that was left was sleepy satisfaction.</p><p>“I won’t go anywhere else tonight,” he said when he finally pulled away.</p><p>“You better not,” Ronan said, wrapping his arms around him tightly as they closed their eyes. He held him so carefully that Adam felt a lump forming in his throat. He could really get used to this.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Ronan woke for the second time that night, he wished Adam wasn’t there after all. He woke with a start, unable to stop himself from nearly throwing Adam out of his arms. He turned away from his boyfriend before he could get a good look at him. Of course his brain had picked tonight of all nights to be shitty. To send him into a hellish dreamscape and then wake him with such ferocity that he didn’t even get to recover in private. He was no stranger to bad dreams, but they’d been less of a threat lately. He hadn’t even considered the possibility when he’d agreed to stay the night, had been too preoccupied with the thought of waking up next to the beautiful creature that he somehow got to call his boyfriend. And now it was biting him in the ass. </p>
<p>A gentle hand reached for his shoulder and that was just <em> too much.  </em></p>
<p>“Ronan?” Adam asked sleepily, “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“I’m fine,” he spat out, “Just go back to sleep, Parrish.” Apparently his brain wasn’t the only one being shitty tonight. </p>
<p>“No,” Adam said evenly. There was no hint of pity, or even concern, really. Just <em> no</em>.</p>
<p>“Stubborn bastard,” Ronan muttered under his breath, half hoping Adam would hear, half hoping he wouldn’t. </p>
<p>“That’s me,” Adam replied without missing a beat. </p>
<p>Oh, this was dangerous. Ronan felt like he was standing on a cliff, and with one tiny nudge he’d be falling off of it and would forever be lost in the ocean of being wholly, undeniably, and irreversibly in love with Adam Parrish. (As if he hadn’t been standing on that ledge for quite some time now. Probably since he'd first laid eyes on Adam, not that he'd ever admit that out loud.)</p>
<p>Finally, he turned around and faced Adam, keeping his face as unaffected as he could. When that didn’t work, he opted for a scowl rather than showing any kind of vulnerability.</p>
<p>“Nightmare?” Adam asked him. Ronan felt his scowl harden, but didn’t answer.</p>
<p>“I—”</p>
<p>“Don’t fucking say you’re sorry,” Ronan bit out. Why was he acting like this? Was he <em> trying </em> to push Adam away? </p>
<p>“I wasn’t going to, you giant pain in the ass,” Adam said, rolling his eyes. “I get it, okay?”</p>
<p>Ronan felt himself freeze. This was it, he thought. The last push he needed had arrived and he could fight it or he could let go and embrace the inevitable descent. He looked into Adam’s eyes, searching for reasons to stop, to keep himself from falling. When he didn’t find any, he said, “Okay.”</p>
<p>He felt the shift inside of him like he was violently letting go of a physical ache. He fell and he fell and he fell, but it was okay, it was more than okay, it was everything good and amazing and it scared the hell out of him, but he knew he’d be safe. Adam was there to catch him. </p>
<p>“Good,” Adam said, looking back at him like he understood, and maybe he did. Maybe he knew Ronan better than Ronan did. “Then shut the fuck up and get over here,” he said, laying back and reaching for Ronan. </p>
<p>Ronan shut the fuck up and fell into Adam’s waiting arms.</p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“Take my phone with you,” Ronan said as he parked the BMW outside Fox Way.</p>
<p>“I’d say ‘don’t you need it’ but we both know the answer to that question,” Adam replied, lips quirking.</p>
<p>“I’ll be back in a few hours,” Ronan said, ignoring him. “Call Matthew if you need to get a hold of me.”</p>
<p>Adam leaned in to kiss him quickly. “You just want an excuse not to answer all of Gansey’s texts.”</p>
<p>“I don’t need an excuse for that, he’s used to it,” Ronan answered, but his gaze was heavy, clearly focused on anything but the topic at hand. </p>
<p>Something had changed between them the other night, and though Adam couldn’t quite put his finger on it, it was definitely noticeable. </p>
<p>Everything about this relationship with Ronan had been intense from the very beginning, but now it was… <em> more</em>, somehow. Adam could feel it in his bones. </p>
<p>“See you in a few hours, then,” he said, his forehead resting on Ronan’s, his hand stroking his cheek.</p>
<p>“You’re not working tonight, right?” Ronan asked quietly, “There’s something I want to show you.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m free tonight,” Adam said. Then, “What is it?” His mind was a flurry of questions.</p>
<p>“You’ll see when I show you,” Ronan insisted, not letting Adam in on the secret, which only made Adam question his motives more. </p>
<p>“Fine,” he conceded.</p>
<p>Ronan kissed him once more.</p>
<p>“Now get out of here before you make me late,” he said, as if Adam were some great burden to his time management skills. Well, he probably was, to be honest. </p>
<p>“As if you’ve ever cared about being late, especially when Declan is involved,” Adam returned with a grin.</p>
<p>“The later I am to meet them, the later it is when I get to come back to you,” Ronan explained without even a hint of posturing. Something really had changed.</p>
<p>Adam smiled at him as he drove away, dropping the borrowed phone into his pocket. Blue greeted him at the door and they headed up to her room. He’d been pleased to find that she had the afternoon off as well, and had called to see if she wanted to hang out while Ronan spent some “quality time” (as Matthew had put it) with his brothers. </p>
<p>As the hours slipped away, Adam couldn't help but think about everything that had happened in the past weeks. Spending time with Blue was always a comfort, and if he tried, he could pretend this was just another day and that his life hadn't changed dramatically over the course of a summer. He didn't want that, though. Every change had brought him closer to true happiness. Sometimes he still couldn't believe it. And now something was changing between two of his friends. He thought about the conversation he and Blue had had the night Gansey had left town. Well, the parts that weren't embarrassing, anyway. He'd been patient, but he thought enough time had passed that he could bring it up again. </p>
<p>“So,” he began, breaking the comfortable silence around them, “Do you wanna talk about it?”</p>
<p>Blue looked at him. He could tell she knew what he meant. </p>
<p>“I don’t know,” she said. “I still don’t know how I… I mean, I do, but I also don’t… ugh, this is confusing.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he said, “I get that.”</p>
<p>“Oh please, you’ve been in love with Ronan since you first saw him,” she retorted.</p>
<p>Adam felt himself blush. “That’s not true,” he said. Neither one of them had said the word <em> love </em> yet, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for that, anyway. How could he know for sure?</p>
<p>“Whatever you say,” Blue said, skeptical.</p>
<p>“What do you think would help you?” Adam asked her, changing the subject.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” she said, “I mean, it doesn’t help that I’m trying to figure this out while he’s not actually here.”</p>
<p>“You could call him,” Adam suggested.</p>
<p>“And say what? Oh, hello Gansey, it’s Blue. Don’t mind me, I just need to figure out if I really have feelings for you?”</p>
<p>“Well you don’t have to be so blunt about it,” Adam said, laughing, “Just talk to him.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t call him now, the phone is occupied.” she said. </p>
<p>“Here,” he said, taking Ronan’s phone out of his pocket, “Use Ronan’s.”</p>
<p>Blue raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t say anything. Instead, she just looked at the phone as if it might bite her.</p>
<p>They sat in silence for a few moments before she snatched it out of his hand. </p>
<p>“Fine,” she said, “But I’m putting it on speaker. We’ll both talk to him.”</p>
<p>Adam nodded his agreement as she made the call.</p>
<p>The line rang a couple of times before Gansey answered.</p>
<p>“Ronan,” Gansey said with a sigh. Before either of them could speak up, he continued. “I told you I’m fine. The date hasn’t even started yet, and I’m certain it won’t go badly enough to warrant a call from you, of all people.”</p>
<p>Blue and Adam stared at each other in silence, eyes wide. </p>
<p>“Ronan?” Gansey’s voice said again. “Hello?”</p>
<p>Blue ended the call and shoved the phone back into Adam’s hands. </p>
<p>“Blue—”</p>
<p>“It’s fine,” she said, keeping her expression even. Her eyes betrayed her.</p>
<p>“It’s not fine,” he argued.</p>
<p>“It is,” she shot back, voice rising. “He’s perfectly within his rights to go on a date. I’ve… I’ve never given him any reason to think otherwise.”</p>
<p>Adam rested a hand on her shoulder gently. “That doesn’t mean you don’t get to hurt.”</p>
<p>Something broke inside her then, and she crumpled into him. He held her firmly, rubbing a hand over her back reassuringly. She might not be ready to confront her feelings, but it was obvious they were there. He vowed to himself that if there was anything he could do to make her feel better, he’d do it. He hated the entire situation, especially because he knew Gansey was hurting, too. He had to fix this. It didn’t seem right that he got to be so happy, while two of his best friends were stumbling around blindly, so obviously pining while not knowing what to do about it.</p>
<p>“It’ll be okay,” he promised her. “It’ll work out somehow.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know that,” Blue said, pulling away from him. </p>
<p>“You’re right, I don’t,” he admitted. “But I still believe it.”</p>
<p>They were still holding on to one another when they heard the BMW pull up.</p>
<p>“Go,” Blue said softly. “I’ll be fine.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? I can stay.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure,” she said. “I think I need some time alone now.”</p>
<p>He gave her a sad smile. “Can I call you tonight?”</p>
<p>Blue nodded, then shoved him towards the door. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>“You okay?” Ronan asked as he got into the passenger seat.</p>
<p>Adam looked back towards the house. “Yeah, I’m okay, but I don’t think Blue is. Or Gansey for that matter.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” </p>
<p>Adam made a decision, then. He still hadn’t told Ronan about his recent discovery of Blue’s feelings, wanting to respect her privacy. But he had to do something, and Ronan’s input would help. So he told him the whole story as they drove, and Ronan listened intently.</p>
<p>“We should tell him,” Ronan finally said. “Maybe not everything, but enough. He thinks Blue barely tolerates him, and he’s definitely still over the moon about her, even if he won’t admit it.”</p>
<p>Adam smiled then. “Over the moon?”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut up,” Ronan said, flicking his leg playfully. “You know what I mean.”</p>
<p>Adam grabbed his hand before he could rest it back against the gear shift, entwining their fingers. “Are you over the moon for me?” he asked, teasing.</p>
<p>“So what if I am?” Ronan answered, eyes purposefully not leaving the road. He untangled his hand from Adam’s so he could shift.</p>
<p>Adam traced a pattern on the inside of his arm. “I’m over the moon for you,” he admitted quietly, not missing the smile his words provoked.</p>
<p>The rest of the evening was just for them, leaving worry for their friends behind for a little while. Ronan took them to a diner, refusing to let Adam pay a cent towards their meal. </p>
<p>“I asked you, so I’m paying,” he said. “You can pay when you take me out somewhere.” </p>
<p>Adam wasn’t happy with that, exactly, but he supposed it made sense. After they finished eating, Ronan drove them out of town. Adam looked forward to finding out what Ronan wanted to show him, suddenly remembering their conversation from earlier that day. He’d forgotten, having other things to think about. </p>
<p>They ended up on a sprawling farm, acres of land and barns and a beautiful farmhouse. </p>
<p>“So technically speaking,” Ronan said, breaking the easy silence that had fallen between them, “We’re not actually supposed to be here.”</p>
<p>“Why is it that all your fancy date moves have to involve something illegal?” Adam asked, remembering what he considered their first date at the skate park after hours.</p>
<p>Ronan laughed. “That’s all a part of my charm, Parrish. Take it or leave it.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take it,” Adam said, kissing him on the cheek. </p>
<p>They parked the car and Adam followed as Ronan led them to climb up onto one of the lower sections of the farmhouse’s roof. He listened quietly as Ronan told him about growing up there, about how his father was killed, how he and his brothers had been kicked out, his mother, lifeless. After Ronan was finished speaking, they held each other in silence, words not being enough anymore. He ached with Ronan, knowing he couldn't possibly understand the pain he was feeling, but wanting to. Wanting to take it away for him, to soothe all his hurting.</p>
<p>Again he felt as though something had changed between them. He could feel it even more pronounced here, staring up at the stars, Ronan’s head on his chest. </p>
<p>“This is my home,” Ronan said. “I’m gonna get it back someday.”</p>
<p>Adam knew it was true. Knew that when Ronan put his mind to something, he could do anything. He also thought about what that meant for them, for the future. </p>
<p>All his life he’d been running from Henrietta, but now he thought he might not mind coming back. He might not mind at all. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blue was the one to answer when Adam called her that night. She didn’t sound as pained as she had earlier, but was clearly still upset. And she’d gone as far as to admit that despite everything she once believed to be possible, she’d gone and caught feelings for one Richard Campbell Gansey III.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do, Adam,” she said, “I never thought I’d be in this situation.”</p>
<p>“What, having feelings for someone? Not gonna lie, that stings a bit,” he replied in jest. </p>
<p>“Jerk. You know what I mean. Having feelings for a <em> raven boy </em> is so not how I saw my future.”</p>
<p>“Well I guess that proves you really aren’t psychic, then,” he said with a laugh. </p>
<p>“Never claimed to be,” she answered. “Speaking of, Orla decided to run a booth at the fair this weekend and wants me to help.”</p>
<p>He could tell she was purposely changing the subject but decided to roll with it for now. “Are you gonna do it?” he asked.</p>
<p>“I think so. She said she’d split the money with me if I did. I’m pretty sure she thinks she’s gonna meet her soulmate doing tarot readings for five dollars.”</p>
<p>Adam could practically hear her eyes rolling. He stifled a laugh. “I’ve never been to the fair before.”</p>
<p>“Well you should come, then. And you should bring Ronan.”</p>
<p>“You think so? I don’t know if that’s his thing,” he said skeptically.</p>
<p>“Oh, please. Anything he gets to do with you is his thing,” she argued.</p>
<p>“That’s… kind of true,” he conceded, smiling to himself. “I’ll think about it.”</p>
<p>The line stayed quiet for a moment before Blue said, “How did you do it?”</p>
<p>“Do what?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Find the nerve to tell Ronan how you felt about him,” she clarified. </p>
<p>“Oh, someone told me I should make up my mind about things and go after them,” he said.</p>
<p>“That sounded better when I was the one saying it,” she admitted ruefully.</p>
<p>Adam chuckled softly into the receiver. “Blue,” he said more seriously, “I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I’m pretty sure he feels the same way about you.” He wasn’t an idiot. Anyone with a working set of eyes could see how he felt about her. Well, anyone but Blue, apparently. </p>
<p>She was quiet for another moment. “You really think so?” she asked softly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I really do,” he assured her.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” she said, stifling a yawn, “Maybe. I think you're just being nice.”</p>
<p>“Go to sleep, Blue,” Adam said, “We can talk more about it later if you want.”</p>
<p>“All right,” she agreed, “Goodnight, Adam.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight,” he answered before hanging up. He sat in the church office for just a few moments before he made a decision and dialed Gansey’s number. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>For as long as he could remember, Adam had wanted nothing more than to get out of Henrietta and never look back. After he’d met Blue, his plans hadn’t really changed. Not consciously, at least. Blue wanted to leave too. She dreamed of traveling and he dreamed of success and late at night they’d talk about how they were going to get out of this town someday. </p>
<p>Then before he knew it he had a whole group of people he cared about, and as he thought about it he realized he’d actually made some fond memories in this place. He still wanted to leave, but it felt more like he was running toward his future and less like he was running away from his past. It was a good feeling. </p>
<p>Henrietta still had its fair share of bad memories for him, but it was where he’d come into himself, where he’d learned he didn’t have to face everything alone. </p>
<p>Where he’d fallen in love. </p>
<p><em> Love</em>. Part of him almost didn’t believe it. He hadn’t said anything to Ronan about it because he was still getting used to just thinking about it. But ever since that night at the Barns, he’d known.</p>
<p>And suddenly whenever he thought about his future, he wasn't sure what it would look like but he wanted Ronan to be there. And that was scary because for so long he’d only relied on himself, but he was getting better at reminding himself that it didn’t always have to be that way. </p>
<p>And so whenever he really thought about what a future with Ronan in it could be like, it made him so unbearably happy he could barely contain himself. More than once Ronan had caught him daydreaming about it, a stupid grin on his face that quickly turned into a shy one as he held back from telling his boyfriend what he’d been thinking about. He wasn’t sure he was ready to voice those particular thoughts. Not quite yet. </p>
<p>*****</p>
<p>As it turned out, Blue hadn’t really been wrong about Ronan’s willingness to accompany him to the county fair. He agreed eagerly, telling Adam they had to go on all the rides especially the ones with names like the “Ring of Fire” and the “Death Twister.” Adam was pretty sure he was making those up. </p>
<p>The sun was setting when they arrived, and Ronan reached for Adam’s hand as they entered. </p>
<p>“What do you want to do first?” Ronan asked him.</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Adam said. He looked around the sprawling fairgrounds. There were too many things to look at to know where to start. </p>
<p>They decided just to wander around for a while and ended up at the petting zoo. Adam’s heart swelled as he watched Ronan tenderly cradling a baby lamb that had wandered into his lap. He begged Ronan to let him use his phone to take a picture and Ronan only agreed after he swore on his life to never show it to another human being. </p>
<p>After they’d had their fill of baby animals, Ronan led Adam toward some games. Adam eyed them suspiciously, noting that they seemed rigged. That didn’t stop Ronan. He threw darts at balloons and baseballs at milk bottles trying in vain to win the top prize.</p>
<p>“You really want to win that teddy bear up there, don’t ya?” Adam teased.</p>
<p>“It’s not for me, it’s for you, shithead,” Ronan said as he lost once more. "That's how it works, so you better start thinking about which one you want."</p>
<p>“I’m pretty sure these games are impossible to win,” Adam said, pulling on Ronan’s arm, “Let’s go get something to eat.”</p>
<p>Ronan looked like he was about to give in and give up on winning anything, but then he saw something behind Adam.</p>
<p>“Hold on,” he said, “I wanna try this one first.”</p>
<p>Adam turned around to see the game that had caught Ronan’s interest. It was simple enough, supposedly testing one’s strength as they used a mallet to hit the target hard enough to ring the bell at the top. </p>
<p>There were people in line ahead of them, and as they took their turns Adam watched carefully. Finally it was Ronan’s turn and he sauntered up to the game. Adam had to stop himself from laughing at that, but he certainly wasn’t complaining about the view. He shamelessly ogled Ronan’s flexing muscles as he swung the mallet.</p>
<p>“Fucking piece of shit,” Ronan muttered after he lost once more. </p>
<p>Broken out of his reverie, Adam walked up to the game and gave the man running it a couple tickets. He took the mallet, stood back, and swung it with what he’d determined to be the proper force at the proper angle. He’d catalogued all the mistakes the people in front of them had made and felt pretty confident with his hypothesis.</p>
<p>A loud ding rang out and he handed the man the mallet and pointed up at the top prizes, turning to Ronan.</p>
<p>“So which one do you want?” he asked, smirking.</p>
<p>Ronan just stared at him so he picked out a lamb and handed it over to him with a laugh. </p>
<p>“I hate you,” Ronan said with a straight face.</p>
<p>“Sure you do,” Adam said, linking their arms together and pulling Ronan towards the food vendors.</p>
<p>But Ronan had other plans, it seemed. He stopped them suddenly and pulled Adam in another direction. They wound up in a secluded area under some bleachers and Ronan threw the lamb to the ground and himself onto Adam’s lips.</p>
<p>Laughing, Adam pulled back. “Hey, be nice to her. I worked hard to win her for you,” he said before pulling Ronan’s mouth back to his.</p>
<p>“Fuck, that shouldn’t have been as hot as it was,” Ronan said between frantic kisses. </p>
<p>Adam wrapped his arms tight around Ronan, pulling him closer, and they both stopped talking for a long while. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was only when Adam’s stomach began to growl that they decided it might be time to go find something to eat. Ronan carried the stuffed lamb with him, dusting it off from where he’d deposited it on the ground.</p><p>“You don’t really have to keep her,” Adam told him as they walked. </p><p>Ronan scoffed. “I can’t abandon her now, Parrish. I’ve already named her.”</p><p>Of course he was keeping the damn stuffed animal. Adam had given it to him. That was all the reason he needed.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Adam asked, “What’s her name?”</p><p>“Chainsaw,” he replied without hesitation.</p><p>Adam laughed. “Fitting,” he said, shaking his head, fondly exasperated. Ronan thought he’d like to see that expression every day for the rest of his life.</p><p>While they waited in line, Ronan’s phone began vibrating in his pocket. He almost didn’t do anything about it but Adam’s face said he heard it and his raised eyebrows said <em> I know you don’t want to answer that but it might be important. </em></p><p>It wasn’t. Ronan pulled the phone out and saw Gansey’s name flash across the screen. </p><p>“Here, it’s for you,” he told Adam, who didn’t deign to reply and instead just took the phone and answered it. Ronan watched him as he talked to Gansey, not really paying attention to what they were talking about. He’d never get tired of looking at Adam. He nearly had him memorized by this point, but somehow he seemed to discover something new each time.</p><p>After a few minutes Adam ended the call and handed the phone back to him.</p><p>“How’s Dick?” Ronan said, hoping to see that expression once more. He did. Ronan grinned.</p><p>“Gansey’s… I dunno, he sounded weird.” Adam’s face twisted a bit, concerned.</p><p>“He always sounds weird,” Ronan countered. Adam’s face didn’t really change this time but his mouth twisted up on one side. He’d take it.</p><p>“He asked how we were enjoying the fair,” Adam said, “And if we’d been to Blue’s booth yet.”</p><p>“God, I hope he grows some balls and does something about that when he gets back. I’m tired of all this pining shit.”</p><p>Adam nudged his shoulder. “Be nice,” he said.</p><p>“It’s like you don’t know me at all,” Ronan sighed. </p><p>“I do know you,” Adam said, poking his side playfully, “That’s the problem.”</p><p>Ronan grinned again and looked up only to find Adam was already looking at him, his face set with the same smile. God, he looked so smitten. Ronan had to stop himself from doing something publicly indecent and settled for taking a long moment just to look.</p><p>Someone behind them cleared their throat and the spell was broken. Their turn to order had come while they’d only had eyes for each other.</p><p>“Come on, Parrish,” he said, “Time to buy your date some dinner.”</p><p>*****</p><p>After they’d filled up on nachos and corn dogs Adam suggested they split a cherry snow cone for dessert as they wandered to find Blue and her witch cousin’s booth. Ronan thought it was the best idea he’d ever had now that he couldn’t keep his eyes off Adam’s mouth, stained bright red as he took another bite, eyes ahead and seemingly oblivious to Ronan’s staring.</p><p>Adam’s eyebrow quirked slightly. “What?” he said, his mouth full and his arm reaching to hand the snow cone back to Ronan.</p><p>Apparently he wasn’t as subtle as he’d thought. He couldn’t find the will to care. Not when Adam’s lips were already kiss bruised and now they were covered in red sugar and it had barely been thirty minutes since he’d had Adam’s tongue in his mouth but Ronan wanted to lick them. He wanted to—</p><p>A sudden force knocked him away from that train of thought as someone passing by stumbled into them.</p><p>“Sorry, man,” a voice said, already walking away. </p><p>He sneered, ready to go after the guy, but a gentle hand on his arm pulled him out of his thoughts. When he looked back at Adam, he saw that his shirt had taken the worst of it, now covered in cherry flavored ice. </p><p>“You okay?” Ronan asked him.</p><p>“I’m fine, just gonna go clean this up,” Adam said, “Don’t kill anyone while I’m gone, Lynch.”</p><p>Ronan just nodded, still thinking about the way Adam hadn’t even had to say anything to him to calm him so quickly. He knew he had a tendency to let his anger get away from him sometimes, but he didn’t <em> enjoy </em>it. Well, not usually. But that simple touch had grounded him, had reminded him that he had good things in his life now. Really good things. Things worth protecting and cherishing and that he’d do just about anything to keep. </p><p>Fuck, he was so in love. Maybe he should say something. Maybe he shouldn’t. Was it too fast? Was it possible Adam felt the same way? He thought of the way Adam looked at him. Ever since they’d met they hadn’t been able to keep their eyes off each other, there was no denying that. But some of the looks Adam had been sending him lately were… different, somehow. They still belied that same interest, the hunger that raked over him saying <em> I want you, </em> as well as the understanding that had been there from the beginning. Adam Parrish had come into his life, taken one look, and said <em> I get you. </em>No one else had ever been able to do that. Ronan wouldn’t have been able to understand it if he hadn’t experienced it himself. He understood Adam, and now as he really thought about it he suspected he might know what else Adam’s looks had been saying lately. </p><p>Ronan Lynch was in love. Maybe it was time to do something about it. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I'm on a roll again! I just want to say thank you to everyone who has been following this story, for being patient while I was struggling with writing. I know I haven't said much about that but it feels great to be back at it. This story is almost finished and it's been quite a ride for me. Thanks for reading. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Adam came back out from the bathroom, he looked around and didn’t see Ronan anywhere. He’d probably gotten bored of standing around and had ventured off somewhere and now Adam was tasked with finding him. He didn’t really mind, though. It was nice to have a few moments to himself, to think about things without the other boy right in front of him. Not that he felt like he needed a break from him. Quite the opposite. It was just a lot sometimes, feeling things so intensely. </p><p>He wasn’t used to it – to feeling so wanted, so understood. So happy.</p><p>Ronan may be a lot, but Adam could never get enough. </p><p>God, he really was in love, wasn’t he? Not that he hadn’t already known that. He just felt it amplified tonight. There was something about the flashing lights and the laughing people and the way Ronan had been looking at him as they walked that made him feel… light. Almost giddy, even. He’d never felt quite like this before.  </p><p>He smiled to himself as he turned a corner and found Ronan, who was sitting across a table from Orla at her booth having his cards read. He knew Ronan didn’t put much stock in Blue’s family’s abilities and the look on his face now clearly portrayed that. Adam couldn’t hear what Orla was saying, but Ronan was sending her a death glare and Blue was obviously trying very hard not to laugh. </p><p>Adam approached quietly behind Ronan and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. </p><p>“You harassing my boyfriend, Orla?” he said with a smirk.</p><p>It was no secret that Orla thought Ronan was attractive. Even though she knew he was gay and that he was with Adam, she’d never been able to keep her eyes to herself. </p><p>Ronan leaned back into Adam’s touch. He didn’t say anything but he appeared to be much calmer than he had a second ago. Adam was pretty sure that he was the reason for that, and he smiled again. </p><p>“I was just telling him that his romantic life looks promising,” Orla said.</p><p>Adam looked at the cards. The Two of Cups, the Lovers, and the Four of Wands were spread out on the table in front of them. He’d been around Blue’s family enough to have a general idea of what they meant.</p><p>“Nothing I didn’t already know,” Ronan said quietly, leaning his head back to reach Adam’s ear.</p><p>Adam had to stop himself from throwing himself at Ronan’s lips. Blue made a retching sound in the background. </p><p>“The Two of Cups signifies a new relationship, one built on trust, physical attraction, and a strong soul connection,” Orla said.</p><p>Ronan just raised an eyebrow at her. </p><p>“The Lovers card is similar,” she continued, “You have a bond with someone that is unlike any other. You should be honest with that person if you want the relationship to thrive.” </p><p>“I'm always honest,” Ronan said defensively, though his mouth twisted into a frown. </p><p>“And the Four of Wands promises joy and celebration. I think it's saying that you'll be very happy if you follow the path the other two cards have laid out. Be honest with your lover and you will reap the benefits.”</p><p>Ronan was back to his glaring. He had a look in his eyes that Adam couldn't quite figure out, though. He released his grip on Ronan and stood up straight, offering his hand. </p><p>“Come on, Lynch. I've kept you away from the Death Twister long enough.”</p><p>Ronan's eyes lit up. “I made that one up, actually,” he admitted with a sharp grin.</p><p>“I had a feeling,” Adam said with a laugh. “The Ring of Fire, too.”</p><p>“Oh no, that one's real,” Ronan said, pointing into the distance. </p><p>A towering circular roller coaster with flames painted up the side came into Adam’s line of vision. He swallowed, wondering what he’d gotten himself into. </p><p>They left the booth behind, saying goodbye to Blue and promising to return later, and headed toward the rides. </p><p>As they were walking, a voice came from somewhere to their right. “Adam! Ronan!”</p><p>They turned to see Gansey walking towards them at a frantic pace. </p><p>“Gansey?” Adam said, surprised, “I thought you were still on your vacation.”</p><p>He looked nervous. His hair was falling out of its normally perfect veneer and he was sweating.</p><p>“I was, but I came back early. It took some time to convince my parents, but they could tell I wasn’t enjoying myself anyway,” he said.</p><p>“Why are you here?” Adam asked him, though he suspected he knew.</p><p>“I was hoping to find Blue, actually,” he said, a bit out of breath. “Do you know where she is, by chance?”</p><p>Ronan pointed behind them. “Are you gonna man up and ask her out or what?”</p><p>Adam elbowed him in the side. </p><p>Gansey frowned. “If you remember, the last time I tried that it didn’t end well. So I came here with no expectations, but I do intend to tell her how I feel.”</p><p>“Good luck,” Adam said, pushing him in Blue’s direction. He was almost as invested in this as Gansey was. </p><p>“You’ll need it,” Ronan added. </p><p>“Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time?” Adam asked as Gansey gathered his courage and walked away from them. </p><p>“Not all the time,” Ronan said softly. </p><p>Adam turned to look at him. His mood had changed quicker than Adam could keep track of and now he looked at Adam with a quiet tenderness that made Adam’s heart flip. That look was one he wore often when they were alone. </p><p>“Okay, not all the time,” Adam conceded. “But you could be nicer to your friends.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” Ronan said. He was looking back towards Gansey again, who had seemed to have lost his determination. He stood with his back to them, frozen in place. </p><p>Adam looked at Ronan and together they moved towards Gansey. As they approached, however, he started away from them again. Maybe he just needed a moment. Adam knew from experience that knowing you wanted something and actually going for it were two separate things and that it took a little bit of courage to accomplish the latter. </p><p>They continued forward anyway. Adam had to admit he was curious to see how this would play out. And maybe Blue would need him there, should Gansey stick his foot in his mouth once again. He didn’t think he would, though. He was rooting for him. </p><p>They didn’t walk right up to the booth, but hung back just enough to be somewhat respectful. Not that that meant they couldn’t hear what was going on. </p><p>As Gansey made his presence known, Blue looked up at him, shocked.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” she asked. </p><p>Adam could tell she was trying to sound unaffected but it wasn’t really working.</p><p>“It has come to my attention that you were the one to call me using Ronan’s phone,” Gansey began. </p><p>Blue’s face went from surprise to anger, though not directed at Gansey. Her eyes found Adam and she sent him a glare he knew all too well. Yeah, he was in trouble. He never wanted to betray her trust but he really hoped it was worth it this time. </p><p>“And that you heard something I wish you hadn’t,” Gansey continued.</p><p>This time, Blue’s anger was directed at the boy in front of her. She crossed her arms. </p><p>“So you’d rather just lie to me about all the people you’re dating, then?”</p><p>Gansey froze. “That isn’t what I meant,” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Why is this so hard? Every time I try to talk to you about this I seem to make a bigger fool of myself.”</p><p>“Talk to me about what?” Blue said. Her arms were still crossed and her demeanor hadn’t changed, but her voice was quieter.</p><p>Gansey dropped his hand and took a step forward. </p><p>“I didn’t mean that I wished you hadn’t heard about the date. I meant that I wished there was no date to begin with. I only went because my parents wanted me to, and because I was under the impression that you would not care one way or the other.”</p><p>Blue didn’t move. Her stance wasn’t quite as angry anymore, though. More defensive.</p><p>“Do you care, Blue?” Gansey said, “Because if you do, please let me know. I’ve been trying very hard to respect your wishes and keep my feelings to myself, and I will continue to do so if that’s what you want.” </p><p>He took another step and reached out like he wanted to touch her before he stopped himself. “But if it’s not, Blue, please tell me.”</p><p>Blue’s face softened. “I don’t,” she started, looking at the ground, “I mean...” </p><p>She paused to take a breath. </p><p>“I care, Gansey,” she said finally, looking back up at him, “I care too much.”</p><p>Gansey’s face stretched into a wide, sappy grin. “I like you an awful lot, Blue Sargent,” he said.</p><p>A shy smile began to form on Blue’s face. She caught Adam’s eye as her smile grew and Adam sent one back to her.</p><p>The betrayal had definitely been worth it.</p><p>*****</p><p>Adam pulled Ronan away again, giving their friends some privacy.</p><p>“Fucking finally,” Ronan sighed.</p><p>“I know,” Adam agreed, “It’s been hard to watch them stumble over their feelings for each other.”</p><p>“Ugh, they’re probably going to be all gross now,” Ronan added.</p><p>“To be fair, we’ve been pretty gross for a while,” Adam said, smiling.</p><p>“That’s different. It’s <em> Gansey</em>. He’s gonna be extra gross. And he’s going to be unbearable about it.”</p><p>“Uh huh. Whereas you are so <em>subtle</em> about your feelings,” he said, teasing.</p><p>“Shut up, Parrish. I don’t see you complaining.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Adam said. “Just pointing out that you’re a giant hypocrite.”</p><p>“Whatever. You ready to face the Ring of Fire with your hypocrite boyfriend?”</p><p>Adam looked at the ride and debated whether the risk of death was greater than the prospective reward of doing something adrenaline-inducing with the boy who already made his heart feel like it could beat out of his chest. It wasn’t. </p><p>“I’m ready.”</p><p>*****</p><p>Ronan didn’t make Adam go on <em> all </em> of the rides (<em>that one is for losers, Parrish, look it doesn’t even go fast or spin you upside down</em>) but it was close. And although Adam was having a great time, soon his stomach was protesting anything too extreme. Ronan seemed to pick up on his mood, though, and led them to the giant Ferris wheel.</p><p>As they ascended, Ronan wrapped an arm around Adam and he felt so safe. He leaned into Ronan and closed his eyes. </p><p>When they were nearing the top, the ride came to a stop to let other passengers on.</p><p>“Look,” Ronan said, pointing down into the crowd.</p><p>Blue and Gansey were walking together, holding hands. Adam smiled.</p><p>“I’m happy for them,” he said.</p><p>“Yeah,” Ronan said, “Me too, I guess.”</p><p>“You giant sap,” Adam joked.</p><p>“Shut the fuck up.”</p><p>Adam sat up straight and turned to reach for Ronan’s other hand.</p><p>“I like you an awful lot, Ronan Lynch,” he said with his best impersonation of Gansey’s accent.</p><p>“Ugh, don’t say that,” Ronan said with a groan.</p><p>“You don’t like that?” Adam asked, laughing.</p><p>“I don’t like hearing you say something so… <em> Gansey. </em> In case you’ve forgotten, he’s not the one I’m actually in – interested in,” he said, pretending like he wasn’t blushing to the tips of his ears.</p><p>Adam brought his free hand up and placed it on Ronan’s neck. He felt brave, but that wasn’t much of a surprise. Ronan always made him feel that way.</p><p>“How about I tell you I love you, then?” he said, mustering up all the tender devotion he could. Ronan was always showing him that side of himself and he felt it was only fair to do the same.</p><p>The look in Ronan’s eyes then was so open and honest Adam couldn’t bear to look away.</p><p>“You do?” Ronan asked softly.</p><p>Adam brought their lips together for a sweet kiss. “I do,” he confirmed, “I love you, Ronan.”</p><p>Ronan took Adam’s face in his hands, looking at him in worship. Adam felt it everywhere.</p><p>“You're everything to me, Adam,” he said, “And I love you, too, <em>fuck</em>, I love you. I can't even begin to tell you how much.”</p><p>“I know what you mean,” Adam said earnestly.</p><p>Ronan’s smile was so electric Adam felt like his heart could burst. They didn’t say any more, just looked into each other’s eyes like they'd been doing from the beginning. </p><p>Adam had never felt so alive.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it.</p><p>I have a few things to say.</p><p>First, I am not very experienced with tarot, so if the reading scene was inaccurate, I apologize.</p><p>Second, I have to give a shout-out to author creativefiend19, without whom this story would be stuck in writer's-block hell. They were so helpful and without them this would not exist. If you haven't already checked out their work, I highly, highly recommend it!</p><p>And last, I feel it would be remiss of me not to say that Black Lives Matter, Trans Rights Are Human Rights, and if you are privileged so that neither of these issues affect you directly, I urge you to do your research and learn what you can do to help.</p><p>Happy Pride.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>